What’s on This?: Cash
We’ve all heard how dirty money can be, and I don’t mean that in either a legal payout kind of way or a “I’m pretty sure my retirement is being funded by blood diamonds” kind of way. No, I mean it in a “Who the heck touched...
Dollar Shave Club Original Content
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Dudes, You’re Not Keeping Your ‘Basement’ Area Clean Enough
Most of us guys care dearly about the delicate kielbasa between our legs, but apparently, many of us seldom perform the comprehensive cleaning it deserves (which might explain why five percent of men are still hosing down their junk with cologne). This, of course, is how we...
Are Police Really Enforcing the Speed Limit From the Sky?
There’s no worse place on this planet to drive than Nebraska. I understand traffic in L.A. sucks and the subterranean streets of my hometown of Chicago are stressful, but driving through Nebraska is pure mental anguish. The road is so long and flat that it disappears into the...
The Very Sincere Economics of Greeting Cards
It seems like absolutely nobody except your grandmother sends greeting cards anymore, which makes sense, because a text message is so much more immediate and (let’s be honest) way less hassle. So has the industry been weakened by lazy youth who don’t know how to lick an...
February 25, 2020
Why Putting Your Hands Down Your Pants Helps You Fall Asleep
Kenton, a 38-year-old in Ontario, is a serial hands-down-the-pants guy. Whenever he’s relaxing on the couch or about to fall asleep, his hands are down his pants. He says he doesn’t remember when he started it, “but as far back as I can remember, I can clearly...
What are Those Two Lines Between My Eyes, And How Do I Get Rid of Them?
Getting older comes with some definite perks: Acne is (typically) a distant memory, your shoe size stops changing and, of course, you can get into R-rated movies. Heck, people even pay attention to you when you speak, lest they miss out on any of the wisdom you’ve...
Can I Just Take a Vitamin Instead of Eating Vegetables?
Very few of us are getting enough vegetables. Only one in ten people regularly get their recommended daily dose, while the remaining nine of us vary: Some are trying our best, working in a side of broccoli whenever we can, while others are perfectly content with their vegetable-averse lifestyle....
February 24, 2020
The Hidden Financial Costs of Drinking
Being hammered can make you suddenly find otherwise unremarkable people hot enough to sleep with, but less discussed is the fact that it also makes you suddenly find otherwise unremarkable goods and services desirable enough to drop good money on. I’m not just talking about the new...
Is Losing Weight as Easy as Just Burning More Calories Than I Eat?
Here’s a questionably sourced, yet oft-reported statistic: The average person will try upwards of 126 diets in their lifetime. 126!!! Whether or not you believe that stat, the point remains that we humans are constantly in a battle to get back to our fighting weight — and...
How Taut Does Your Butt Need to Be to Bounce a Quarter off It?
Everyone loves a good butt, and while, in my humble opinion, every butt deserves some respect and appreciation, humanity has, of course, formulated a simple trial to separate the best butts from the butt-pack: the Quarter Test. The test is simple: Bounce a quarter off of a...
February 21, 2020
MEL for DSC Magazine, March 2020
Mistook your monthly magazine for a pack of One Wipe Charlies and flushed it down the toilet? No worries, here’s the online version! In this edition: Sing a Song of Pong How to Prepare Your Skin For a Crazy Temperature Jump Everything You Can’t Bring on an...
How Often Can I Eat… Potato Chips?
So you want to eat a little bit better, but refuse to subsist entirely on sad salads and depressing handfuls of mixed nuts? Good news: You can have the best of both worlds — that is, good health and good food — so long as you mind...
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