If you pee through your penis and you’re not a virgin, chances are you’ve participated in a game of post-coital pee Russian roulette. Like Forrest Gump’s box of chocolates, in this game, you never know what you’re going to get: Will it burn? Will it spray? Will it burn then spray?
Let’s take a look at why this stuff happens after sex while you’re peeing, and what can be done about it.
The Problem: The spray feature on your metaphorical hose fires pee randomly into different corners of the bathroom all at once.
The Science: “During sex, the urethra carries semen, and it enters the male urethra very close to the bladder,” says urologist Eugene Dula. “So after sex, your urethra still has semen in it, including probably a concentration near the tip (but still inside the urethra). When you urinate after sex, the urine flushes the residual semen down the urethra, pushing it toward the concentrated area near the tip. This causes the urine flow to be disrupted; it’s sort of like turning on the faucet in your sink and then sticking some gum up in it. The fluid stream will spray out in different directions until it has a clear passage to flow normally.”
The Cure: “In order to clear the passage without spraying everywhere, start by peeing slowly,” Dula suggests. However, he adds: “Don’t try to spread the tip of your urethra, as you could cause a tear.”
The Problem: Arguably the most unnerving post-coital peeing problem is the radioactive stream of pee that burns upon exit from your urethra — this is doubly unnerving if you decided not to wear a condom.
The Science: There are multiple possible explanations for this problem…
- It could be that you’ve contracted a urinary tract infection. Most UTIs are caused by the bacterium Escherichia coli (E. coli), which is naturally present in your body. The bacterium gets into the urinary tract through the urethra, causing a burning sensation when you pee.
- It could be Urethritis, a condition in which the urethra becomes inflamed and irritated. While it’s easy to see why one would confuse the two, Urethritis isn’t the same as a UTI: Urethritis is an inflammation of the urethra; a UTI is an infection of the urinary tract.
- Yes, it could be that you’ve contracted an STD such as chlamydia and gonorrhea. Similar to other bacterial infections of the urinary tract that affect your bladder, these STDs can inflame your urethra, causing a burning sensation.
- It could be that you’re dehydrated. In this situation, the burning sensation is caused by an electrolyte imbalance that occurs when the levels of electrolytes (sodium, potassium, calcium and phosphorus) in your body either rise or fall to dangerous levels. These imbalances may adversely affect kidney function — one of those symptoms is a burning sensation when you pee.
The Cure: Here’s one solution for each potential cause…
- The natural way to treat a UTI is to flush out your urethra with frequent urinations, meaning you should drink a lot of water. However, some UTIs may require antibiotics.
- Antibiotics can successfully cure urethritis caused by bacteria. Some of the most commonly prescribed include: Adoxa, doxycycline, Monodox, Oracea, Azithromycin, Zithromax and Ceftriaxone.
- Unfortunately, certain strains of super gonorrhea bacteria have become resistant to some antibiotics. But most strains can be treated with a one-time antibiotic injection of Ceftriaxone to the buttocks, or a single dose of Azithromycin by mouth. For Chlamydia, a single dose of Azithromycin, or taking doxycycline twice a day for a week or two are the most common treatments. Of course, you can obfuscate the need for any of this by using condoms.
- If you’re dehydrated, the best treatment is the most obvious one: Drink more water.
The Problem: Despite your recent orgasm, you still have an erection. Or you haven’t had an orgasm yet, but you feel the need to pee despite the presence of your erection.
The Science: We’ve written previously about the difficulties of peeing with a boner. As Ajay Nangia, professor and vice chair of urology at the University of Kansas Medical Center, told us, “It’s difficult to urinate with an erection because the chambers within the penis that engorge with blood during an erection — the corpora cavernosa and the corpora spongiosum — compress the urethra.” So if you’re still sporting that post-sex, semi-deflated boner, you may experience some of these problems.
The Cure: To pee with a boner, you need to generate enough pressure to push the urine through your narrower-than-usual urethra. One way to do so is to massage or place light pressure over the bladder, which sits just below the belly button and just above the pubic bone. Alternatively, you can just hold it in until you’re back to your regular, flaccid old self.