You’re An Arse
In the first few weeks after fertilisation, you’re nothing more than a small group of cells called a “blastula” that bursts open from the inside out, making a little bitty opening. This opening is called a blastopore, and it’s the first of your proto-organs to begin forming. In humans’ case, it goes on to become our sphincter, proving we all start life as buttholes.
Got Your Back
The brunt of your bott—the gluteus maximus—is the largest, most powerful muscle in our body. No only does it feel nice when you sit on it, it helps move your hips and thighs and keeps your torso upright. In fact, research by the Journal of Physical Therapy Science shows that strengthening your glutes and hips benefits your back way more than spinal exercises.
As far as primates go, humans are one of the plumpest. Having a “fat arse” isn’t the curse society would have you believe, though: Your bum is simply a safe place to store fat away from your essential organs. Thanks to hormones, women tend to have more fat in their lower parts, which means they generally have bigger bottoms, but also increased life expectancy as a result.
Ifs And Butts
No one knows why we have hair on our bums, since it has no evolutionary purpose except for helping to disseminate our unique odour to any potential partners. Which is well sexy, right? Others believe that, since we’re predisposed to be creatures who walk and run, it may simply be there to help with chafing. Which is well sexy, too.