Some say having soft skin is a sign of emasculated weakness. And to those people, I say: Put on some freaking moisturizer! Your skin looks like a piece of beef jerky old enough to have watched the dinosaurs eat a giant asteroid. I admit, I may have...
When it comes to working out, we’re not all strongmen like Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson (aka The Mountain). In fact, many of us could go our entire lives and still have no clue how a lat pull-down differs from an incline bench. Which is to say, there’s no shame in...
You would think washing the dishes counts as washing your hands — dish soap is usually stronger than hand soap, and you might well be giving each individual finger a proper exfoliation with that skillful maneuvering of the sponge. On the other hand, so to speak, you...
Women have historically gotten the short end of the fertility stick. It’s not just that we’ve mostly assumed that they’re to blame for any and all pregnancy roadblocks — even though men are responsible for a third of cases and another third is some combination of factors...
Once we finish bringing the groceries inside — in one single, strenuous trip, of course — most of us have something of a system in place when it comes to stocking the fridge. Fruits and veggies go inside the bottom crisper drawers, cheeses and deli meats go...
If you’re the sort of person who defines their life based on making the correct ordering decision at a restaurant, you’re not alone. I agree with you — few things are worse than spending your hard-earned cash on a mediocre restaurant experience, which is why when I’m...
Like many millennials, Curtis got his first mobile phone when he entered his freshman year of high school. He was 15 years old, and his first phone went with him everywhere. Still, conscious of school rules and eager not to look antisocial, he’d wait to take the...
Farts are like snowflakes (I am not on drugs, I promise) — no two are the same. Some are thunderous, some are silent, some smell like nothing and some smell like grandparent foot. How each individual fart smells might seem random (especially during those nerve-racking moments after...
I know, onions are rarely the highlight of a dish (onion rings, excluded). But they still find their way into or onto most everything in one way or another. Onions come in many shapes and sizes, though, and assuming you want to incorporate the healthiest of the...
We need not debate a couple of universal pizza truths: That pizza is both vital and inevitable, and that pizza is among the most nutritionally maligned foods on earth. Understandably then, man has made valiant efforts to hack pizza, to whittle it down to some pizza-like formation that...
“Shut up.” “Please shut up.” “Shut your giant flapping mouth-hole before I blow my brains out all over this restaurant you waste of time and oxygen!” These, of course, are the things you want to say when you’re locked in a seemingly endless conversation with that annoying neighbor, that...
The psychological terror of a hangover at 32,000 feet is a singular form of torture. It’s bad enough that you’re literally trapped aboard a flying object weighing 175,000 pounds, with nowhere to go but a small bathroom that forces you to see your disgusting, sweaty face in...
