Over the past decade or so, I’ve gradually come to accept that my hairline is receding. I mean, I don’t know if acceptance is the right way to phrase it, but I’ve neither plummeted into a deep depression nor treated it, so I guess I’ve accepted it on some...
We, as humans, have pioneered a lot of technology over the centuries. There was the wheel — that was cool; the first system of celestial navigation — allowed us to travel the open oceans, natch; nuclear power — yeah, not going to go there. And then, of...
Few things strike fear into my heart like a bathroom without a loud-ass fan. You know the kind I’m talking about — it’s not even clear if they’re actually circulating the air, but they sound like someone’s riding a dirtbike in the ceiling and that’s what counts. I...
You could smell like 2,000-year-old mummy juice and have no idea. Conversely, your quarantine partner could smell like 2,000-year-old mummy juice, and you could detect them from a mile away (or at least the other room). This is because our noses and brains are designed to detect...
Even without alcohol, I have to pee all the time. As I’ve said before, I pee probably once an hour. Being well-hydrated isn’t a crime! Anyway, imagine my horror to hear that a 40-year-old man in Zhejiang, China, was recently hospitalized when, after drinking 10 beers and passing out for...
Going outside on a clear summer day is a good reminder that the sun is indeed a blazing fireball of unfathomable heat. Even from 94.486 million miles away, you can feel the ultraviolet rays from that enormous star beaming against your delicate skin. You may even feel...
Theme park characters, sports mascots, medical professionals, furries, high school theater kids and children on Halloween all provide solid evidence that CO2 poisoning doesn’t happen from wearing a mask. Yet some of the COVID-19 conspiracy theorists are refusing to wear masks in public because of their completely unfounded belief that mask-related...
There’s something heartbreaking about hating a new haircut. I’m not sure whether it’s the fact that you spent tens of dollars on something you really, really don’t like, or the fact you sat through at least 30 minutes of awkward conversation while being forced to look at...
Exercise isn’t just about health. As much as we’re all aware of the endless health benefits of being in good shape, anyone who claims it isn’t at least slightly about trying to look better is lying. Maybe, you think, I’ll be incredibly sexy after this. It’s a shame, then, that those...
Contact lens manufacturers take all the guesswork out of determining how long each lens can be worn: Look right on the box, where the lifespan is clearly spelled out. Done, question answered. But for reasons of frugality, laziness, curiosity or our unwavering desire to push the human...
Just how popular is cereal in this country? Pretty freakin’ popular — that’s how much. According to industry researcher IBISWorld, cereal is a $10 billion business, annually. Not impressed? Well, did you know that more than 2.5 billion boxes of cereal are sold each year? Yeah, that’s...
I’ve always thought that the crisper drawers in refrigerators just existed for organizational purposes. Not once did I stop to ask myself why they were called “crisper” drawers — that’s someone else’s business. But apparently, they’re not just drawers. Or at least, they’re hypothetically not just drawers. As the name suggests,...
