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Welp, you put it off as long as possible — and went through quite a few matchbooks in the process — but the very apparent stench creeping out of the bathroom yet again this morning means it’s highly unlikely you can hide one unassailable truth from your...
April 6, 2020
Seeing as a fever is one of the principal coronavirus symptoms, repeatedly touching your forehead (which, stop) and prodding your tongue with a thermometer while pleading to some higher being for that sweet, sweet 98 degrees Fahrenheit is all the rage right now — as is sprinting away from anyone who mentions they...
If the modern automobile had a status on Facebook, it would undoubtedly be “It’s complicated.” With their computer-controlled fuel injection systems, continuously variable transmissions and three-phase four-pole AC induction motors, the days when every Dick, John and Harry could wrench on their ride seem long gone. But...
April 3, 2020
So you want to eat a little bit better, but refuse to subsist entirely on sad salads and depressing handfuls of mixed nuts? Good news: You can have the best of both worlds — that is, good health and good food — so long as you mind...
Spending a good chunk of money on a mattress is obviously a wise investment. You spend a third of your life asleep, or if you’re like me, more than half of your life at least reclined on a mattress. As with cars, toilet paper and cuts of meat,...
April 2, 2020
I shaved my arms sporadically when I was in high school. I was on the water polo and swim teams, and I was required to shave my entire body, arms included, at the end of the seasons to increase my speed and overall slipperiness. Back then, my...
There comes a time when one simply must part with an aging car. It’s a moment that’s often laden with emotion, given most people bond with their vehicle over years of driving. But it’s once you’re finally ready to say goodbye that the hard work actually starts — assuming...
April 1, 2020
Eric “Mean” Melin, Air Guitar World Champion, has been strumming make-believe strings for as long as he can remember. His earliest memory is set at a small family home in Eden Prairie, Minnesota, where he and his cousins donned KISS masks that they made with crayons and paper, assembled...
Occasionally, doing research for articles leads me to question some of my core beliefs. For example, I thought it was normal to use the same towel for days on end, and just the other day I learned my showering habits were all wrong. What else am I doing wrong?...
March 31, 2020
The new coronavirus has accomplished what many commute-crazed, meeting-ravaged office workers have been long awaiting: Their companies are finally encouraging them to work from home. While, for many of us, working from the comfort of our homes is preferable to working in a dreary office building in an even more dreary cubicle, it can also...
Although manscaping has long been a staple of the bodybuilding scene, body hair removal has only recently found its way into the mainstream (and bathroom) for the average guy. But now that more and more men are shaving and waxing their chests to better show off their...
March 30, 2020
I love a good bagel, but no other food-ordering experience rouses a sense of undecided hysteria quite like choosing which one I want cradling my dollop of cream cheese. The options are endless: I could go with something savory, like an onion bagel. Or maybe something sweet,...