If you’ve dared to venture out of quarantine long enough to go to the supermarket or — eek! — made your way through a half-empty airport in these dark and trying times, no doubt you’ve seen someone wearing a mask. No, not those types of masks —...
Got stuck? No problem. Here are the answers to this month’s puzzles: ROMPECABEZA UNO: 1. Angora 2. Gigolo 3. Closet 4. Frosty 5. Woeful 6. Prefer 7. Solemn 8. Talent 9. Bishop 10. Cashew Mystery keyword: GOOSEFLESH ROMPECABEZA DOS:
So you want to eat a little bit better, but refuse to subsist entirely on sad salads and depressing handfuls of mixed nuts? Good news: You can have the best of both worlds — that is, good health and good food — so long as you mind...
Imagine, if you will, that Jesus Christ returned to Earth and found himself in the same exact ethical conundrum as millions of Lent-practicing Americans will experience over the next few weeks: Is it okay to eat veggie burgers? Or should the Son of God hop on a...
As you brave the coronavirus pandemic by staying indoors, streaming endless videos and establishing a large depression in your couch, you might be daydreaming about relaxing outdoors, soaking up some sun and getting your bronze on. And while you might decide to do exactly that when your...
One of my favorite peeing-in-a-closet stories — and I’ve heard a lot, for journalistic research and because I went to college — doesn’t involve any pee at all. In the spring of 2004, a woman named Erica (she requested I withhold her last name) took her friend...
One of the perks of being in a relationship is always having someone around to rub sunscreen on your back. When you’re single, however — and if your friends, for whatever reason, refuse to lather up your hard-to-reach bits — you’re seemingly out of luck. Although you...
Despite people clamoring to buy the last 18-packs of double-ply toilet paper at the grocery store, the coronavirus really isn’t the butt apocalypse it might seem, since nothing gastrointestinal is among the primary symptoms. For some, the greater concern may be that quarantining prevents us from leaving the house much...
If your skin is pale, you’ve no doubt been tempted by the sweet, seductive allure of a “base tan.” As in, just go without sunscreen for an hour or so to get a little color, man — it’ll keep you from getting sunburned, and it’ll make your...
Deodorant is good stuff — it masks your natural stench with an exotic scent usually called something ultra-manly like STEEL JET or CONCRETE GUNBARREL. Indeed, if traditional deodorant ads are anything to go by, it makes you so irresistible that angels will willfully give up their haloes just...
Obviously, nobody likes being rejected. But are women better equipped to deal with it than men? Or more to the point, are men even able to admit that they’re being rejected, or do they think women are just a boombox serenade away from returning to them? According...
Poop: It’s the great equalizer. Whether you’re the CEO of your company or the intern, you can be sure of three things: death, taxes and the fact that everyone poops. The only real difference between us is when we poop, and for how long. Some folks poop...
