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I hate many things about the gym: the cost, having to arrive at ungodly hours to get the equipment I want, the inability to ever get the aforementioned cost removed from my credit card when I want to cancel my membership. Most of all, though, I hate...
Anyone who recently shaved their head, or went bald, will tell you that a combination of sunscreen and hats is the only thing forestalling their dome from turning into one giant blister due to the sun blasting it with powerful radiation all day long. One time I...
March 4, 2020
The higher the SPF, the stronger the sunscreen — that’s how most of us think SPF works, right? And while that’s not entirely wrong, it’s also not the whole story. To keep us all in the know (and a little more protected when the sun starts shining...
Many of us assume that our showers are, well, always clean — they get sprayed down with a concoction of soap and water every day or so, after all. Sadly, though, our soapy runoff does virtually as little for the cleanliness of our showers as it does...
When you actually think about it, having to pee sucks. You enjoy a refreshing beverage, then some time later — almost always at the most inconvenient moment — your pee area starts feeling like a bloated pufferfish until you make your way to the restroom and, sighing with...
March 3, 2020
In most scenarios, nipples aren’t something people tend to ignore. Apparently, sunbathing isn’t one of those scenarios: 46 percent of people never apply sun protection to their frontal pepperonis, according to a shocking survey from a while back (hopefully people have become more nip-conscious since it was...
I got hooked on Indian takeout when I was much smaller and much younger than I am now. My dad would order my sister and me chicken tikka masala, garlic naan and a side of vegetable samosas — a rather tame order, from what I can tell...
March 2, 2020
Sunscreen vs. sunblock is arguably the least heated debate ever — most of us grab whatever’s on the shelf, slap it on and, so long as we’re not a luminous pink when the sun sets, we’re happy. We should care, though: The sun protection we use today...
Nearly 500 years before Jesus Christ walked the earth (and/or water), the Ancient Greek pre-Socratic philosopher, Democritus of Abdera, was considered the first noted example of the limits of human longevity. Which is to say, based on at least one historical account, Democritus was the first recorded centenarian. Back then, of course —...
February 28, 2020
If the modern automobile had a status on Facebook, it would undoubtedly be “It’s complicated.” With their computer-controlled fuel-injection systems, continuously variable transmissions and three-phase four-pole AC induction motors, the days when every Tom, Dick or Harry could wrench on their ride seem long gone. So let...
Satisfaction comes in many forms: It’s a sip of water to moisten a dry throat; the crack of stepping on an icy puddle; the crunching sound of dry leaves in your clenched fists; watching your kids grow up to be decent human beings you’re proud to call...
February 27, 2020
When you first walked into the bar, deficient in liquor, not one of the other patrons really caught your eye. But after inhaling a few large beers and a couple tequila shots, hey now, when did everyone *hick* become so dang good-looking? Hey! Hey, you! Can I...