It was my first day of vacation, and I was boozing on the beach. Naturally, I got completely wasted and stupidly decided that it would be a good idea to sprint into the ocean… without emptying my pockets. Now, all of my stuff is soaked, and my...
“If man was meant to fly, he’d have been given wings,” says the old mantra we ignore every time we step through the metal detector and head for the bar in the departure lounge. But there’s some truth to it: Nothing about humans flying is natural, and...
Congrats! You’ve reached the light at the end of the tunnel — the light being a poolside Mai Tai and the tunnel being nine long months of soul-crushing office work. Now here you are, sipping on bottomless tropical drinks and roasting under the sun, detaching as far as...
Are you one of those guys who wants to look stylish but finds it doesn’t come all that naturally? Sick of condescending fashion articles telling you why you need to buy $200 T-shirts? Just want to know how to look, well, good? We feel you. Welcome to...
Nothing is more perilous to being “poolside presentable” than cold water’s ability to shrivel up your penis like a startled snail retreating into its shell. Shrinkage has prevented countless men from not just partaking in cold-water skinny dips, but merely getting sack-deep in cold water alone. This summer,...
Being a good dad begins the moment you choose to have a child, and that means the first thing you need to do is become an expert on pregnancy. Naturally, many men are clueless about what brewing a literal human inside a body involves, since most of them...
A few years back, human-resources consultant Tim Sackett was hired to help the employees at an automotive parts manufacturer transition to a new office. The company was relocating from Livonia, Michigan, in the south Detroit suburbs to Auburn Hills in the north Detroit suburbs. For a lucky...
Anyone who’s ever gotten dressed for work in a muggy gym changing room following an early morning workout knows that the experience is nightmarish. Pulling on a shirt over clammy skin is the worst, and the sweat that keeps trickling down your back comes direct from the...
When one thinks of “good sex,” the image that probably comes to mind — if not something from your own history, or a slow, sensual movie scene — is something loud, wild and sweaty. But is working hard enough to perspire a prerequisite to good sex? Does a...
Recently, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez did a little bartending to raise awareness for upping the federal minimum wage — still $2.13 an hour, unchanged since 1991 — for tipped workers. A former bartender herself, she slung drinks and slices of pizza at a New York restaurant to point out the...
As humans, we spend an inordinate amount of time sweating the small stuff. And I don’t mean that metaphorically: We literally worry that our car is too cramped, that our personages are too petite, that our todgers are too titchy. So how to stop this needless fretting?...
You spent the night double-fisting margaritas, and the resulting hangover is as expected: Completely and utterly merciless. Your brain is yearning for painkillers, your throat is thirsting for water and your stomach is hungering for a triple meat breakfast sandwich deluxe from the nearest fast food establishment. Of course,...
