Nearly 500 years before Jesus Christ walked the earth (and/or water), the Ancient Greek pre-Socratic philosopher, Democritus of Abdera, was considered the first noted example of the limits of human longevity. Which is to say, based on at least one historical account, Democritus was the first recorded centenarian. Back then, of course —...
If the modern automobile had a status on Facebook, it would undoubtedly be “It’s complicated.” With their computer-controlled fuel-injection systems, continuously variable transmissions and three-phase four-pole AC induction motors, the days when every Tom, Dick or Harry could wrench on their ride seem long gone. So let...
Satisfaction comes in many forms: It’s a sip of water to moisten a dry throat; the crack of stepping on an icy puddle; the crunching sound of dry leaves in your clenched fists; watching your kids grow up to be decent human beings you’re proud to call...
When you first walked into the bar, deficient in liquor, not one of the other patrons really caught your eye. But after inhaling a few large beers and a couple tequila shots, hey now, when did everyone *hick* become so dang good-looking? Hey! Hey, you! Can I...
We’ve all heard how dirty money can be, and I don’t mean that in either a legal payout kind of way or a “I’m pretty sure my retirement is being funded by blood diamonds” kind of way. No, I mean it in a “Who the heck touched...
There’s no worse place on this planet to drive than Nebraska. I understand traffic in L.A. sucks and the subterranean streets of my hometown of Chicago are stressful, but driving through Nebraska is pure mental anguish. The road is so long and flat that it disappears into the...
It seems like absolutely nobody except your grandmother sends greeting cards anymore, which makes sense, because a text message is so much more immediate and (let’s be honest) way less hassle. So has the industry been weakened by lazy youth who don’t know how to lick an...
Kenton, a 38-year-old in Ontario, is a serial hands-down-the-pants guy. Whenever he’s relaxing on the couch or about to fall asleep, his hands are down his pants. He says he doesn’t remember when he started it, “but as far back as I can remember, I can clearly...
Getting older comes with some definite perks: Acne is (typically) a distant memory, your shoe size stops changing and, of course, you can get into R-rated movies. Heck, people even pay attention to you when you speak, lest they miss out on any of the wisdom you’ve...
Very few of us are getting enough vegetables. Only one in ten people regularly get their recommended daily dose, while the remaining nine of us vary: Some are trying our best, working in a side of broccoli whenever we can, while others are perfectly content with their vegetable-averse lifestyle....
Being hammered can make you suddenly find otherwise unremarkable people hot enough to sleep with, but less discussed is the fact that it also makes you suddenly find otherwise unremarkable goods and services desirable enough to drop good money on. I’m not just talking about the new...
Here’s a questionably sourced, yet oft-reported statistic: The average person will try upwards of 126 diets in their lifetime. 126!!! Whether or not you believe that stat, the point remains that we humans are constantly in a battle to get back to our fighting weight — and...
