A lot of people can apparently take this in stride; my own girlfriend claims to “love” the heat, which is unfortunate given that I want to commiserate with someone over how miserable being hot is. All my life, I’ve felt like I “run hot.” Growing up in...
“I often say there’s probably five or six people alive today [that], if I wasn’t born, wouldn’t be here, so at least I did something.” That’s an impressive way to kick off your online bio, but Michael Beagelman isn’t a part-time search-and-rescue pilot, a hostage negotiator or...
When it comes to working out, we’re not all strongmen like Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson (aka The Mountain). In fact, many of us could go our entire lives and still have no clue how a lat pull-down differs from an incline bench. Which is to say, there’s no shame in...
Returning to the gym locker room can be even more intimidating than returning to the actual gym after spending nine months making excuses (my arm muscle was busted, I swear). For good reason, too: There are a bunch of new faces, with the same idea as you,...
Inside a vehicle is both one of the best and worst places to release a plume of your own nauseating personal fumes. On one hand, being alone means you can liberally break wind without worrying about being shamed. On the other, being trapped in such a small space means...
The relationship one has with their in-laws is bound to be cumbersome. Being married to their offspring means you have to hear about — and sometimes deal with — every single problem that plagues their family. Being someone outside of the actual bloodline, though, usually means you...
According to the many, many pseudo self-care experts out there, being nice to yourself means spending $125,000 on the 18k gold dumbbells they’re shilling, purchasing Psychic Vampire Repellent or maybe putting yourself through the very specific, flatulent hell of a coffee enema. But according to most psychological experts,...
If the modern automobile had a status on Facebook, it would undoubtedly be “It’s complicated.” With their computer-controlled fuel injection systems, continuously variable transmissions and three-phase four-pole AC induction motors, the days when every Tom, Dick or Harry could wrench on their ride seem long gone. So...
Sure, slapping some cream on your head and smearing it around until you look presentable is one way to style your hair. But if you want a more exuberant hairstyle — or something more permanent that requires less maintenance than a daily dose of hair products —...
A comedy staple like slipping on a banana peel or getting a pie in the face, the old plumber’s crack image is something that seems to have been around forever. Yet, over the past week I’ve been scouring the internet for plumber’s butt cracks — digging deep,...
Given the chance, most everyone would change at least something about their appearance. But that seldom means we spend our days obsessing over our perceived defects and our nights dreaming about having a different, more agreeable face. The same cannot be said for those with body dysmorphia,...
Unlike teeth, the stoic gatekeepers of our mouths, a succulent pair of lips has an inviting presence, enticing others to press their own kissers against them. Unfortunately, their subtle and delicate makeup also leaves them prone to being cracked, discolored and mangled. On the upside, whatever shape...
