Here’s a hypothetical that’s probably more real than not for most people: You’ve spent 20 years or more hating your body, seemingly unable to drop those last few pounds that stand between you and happiness, despite seemingly constantly denying yourself the food you really want, and working...
Despite what my drunken, albeit convincing, college roommate Jimmy grumbled while shaving off a single eyebrow at exactly 2:36 on a Tuesday morning back in 2015, science shows that brows are our most important facial feature. They help us convey emotions, and according to studies, we recognize...
I’ve finally stopped fighting it and accepted the fact that I’m a doddering idiot, forsaken to a life without expensive sunglasses because I will inevitably sit on them or lose them. To wit, I’ve owned countless pairs of semi-expensive sunglasses — all of which are either currently sitting...
Have you ever felt like Milton from Office Space? Completely isolated from your peers, degraded by your bosses and reduced to nothing more than a mumbling, squirrel-watching, stapler-hoarding office leper? Well, the good news is that you aren’t alone. Actually, sorry, you are alone — that’s why...
In the last year, cannabidiol (aka CBD) has been touted as a panacea, able to cure (or at least alleviate) everything from chronic pain to cancer-related symptoms. It’s a belief that cosmetic industrialists are cashing in on: CBD-infused lotions and serums, which promise to relieve acne and...
When it comes to working out, we’re not all strongmen like Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson (aka The Mountain). In fact, many of us could go our entire lives and still not know our lat pull-downs from our incline benches from our deadlifts. Which is to say, there’s no shame in...
The two most common fender-bender accidents, say the experts, are rear-end collisions and parking-lot mishaps. It makes sense — distracted driving is the usual culprit behind rear ending (“distracted” meaning looking at one’s cell phone, in most cases) and parking lots are basically obstacle courses where every...
One would expect that bashing the crosswalk button like a whack-a-mole produces actual results, especially since the city went to the trouble of installing them. But much like how colleges promised millennials a life of financial stability and instead gave them one of constant debts and worthless degrees, most...
Of all the so-called hangover remedies — pounding water, devouring greasy foods and drinking more alcohol — sweating it out is reserved for the bold. Most of us can barely roll out of bed when we’re hungover, let along jog around the block until we’re dripping. Still,...
Sometimes, you look at a guy in the gym and think: Huh, he’s got a bit of a gut — bet he doesn’t work out very hard. Then, said guy proceeds to lift a 1978 Volkswagen bus over his head with one arm while still doing lateral...
Sure, I understand you want to make every moment count on vacation, especially since you spent the last nine months carving “I need a break” into the side of your cubicle. So you booked every possible excursion, including a guided meditation in the janitor’s closet and an interactive...
It was my first day of vacation, and I was boozing on the beach. Naturally, I got completely wasted and stupidly decided that it would be a good idea to sprint into the ocean… without emptying my pockets. Now, all of my stuff is soaked, and my...
