The relationship one has with their in-laws is bound to be cumbersome. Being married to their offspring means you have to hear about — and sometimes deal with — every single problem that plagues their family. Being someone outside of the actual bloodline, though, usually means you...
According to the many, many pseudo self-care experts out there, being nice to yourself means spending $125,000 on the 18k gold dumbbells they’re shilling, purchasing Psychic Vampire Repellent or maybe putting yourself through the very specific, flatulent hell of a coffee enema. But according to most psychological experts,...
If the modern automobile had a status on Facebook, it would undoubtedly be “It’s complicated.” With their computer-controlled fuel injection systems, continuously variable transmissions and three-phase four-pole AC induction motors, the days when every Tom, Dick or Harry could wrench on their ride seem long gone. So...
A comedy staple like slipping on a banana peel or getting a pie in the face, the old plumber’s crack image is something that seems to have been around forever. Yet, over the past week I’ve been scouring the internet for plumber’s butt cracks — digging deep,...
Given the chance, most everyone would change at least something about their appearance. But that seldom means we spend our days obsessing over our perceived defects and our nights dreaming about having a different, more agreeable face. The same cannot be said for those with body dysmorphia,...
Unlike teeth, the stoic gatekeepers of our mouths, a succulent pair of lips has an inviting presence, enticing others to press their own kissers against them. Unfortunately, their subtle and delicate makeup also leaves them prone to being cracked, discolored and mangled. On the upside, whatever shape...
My boyfriend’s sporadic sleep schedule means he’ll probably die young of intestinal cancer. His shifts at work begin anywhere from 5:30 in the morning to 10:30 at night, meaning there’s no true pattern to his sleeping hours — or time spent with me. Not to mention, he can’t...
Battery scientists do the extremely important work of figuring out sustainable ways to store energy to make things last longer, help protect people during natural disasters and basically ensure the planet can keep functioning. I do the extremely important work of disrupting that essential research by emailing...
We were descending into Los Angeles from Chicago, which meant the seatbelt lights were on. Had I not woken up with an insufferably full bladder, this would’ve been fine. But I swear I had near-emergency levels of pee pushing to get out, setting off alarms in my...
I’ve got some good news that might seem like bad news at first: People who do housework live longer than those who don’t. You might be thinking, Ugh, another thing I’d rather avoid, even if it takes years off my life. But instead, look at it this...
Having braces at any age sucks — they tear up the inside of your mouth, make eating a real pain and, especially for kids, can lead to a whole bunch of bullying. But since 75 percent of people with braces are kids or teens, having them at...
“That’s great work you’re doing there. It really is the most neatly arranged stack of loaves of bread I’ve seen in a long while…” These words have all taken a running cliff-dive out of my mouth, and now I can never get them to go back in....
