You’ve probably seen the story shared on social media, or on one of those Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: emails from your mom: As a lark, a dude finds his ex-girlfriend’s pregnancy test in his bathroom and, naturally, he pees on it, as men are wont to do....
I had quite a talent for collecting scars when I was a kid — I cracked my forehead open twice, once on my metal bed frame and again on a slippery pool deck. I sliced my hand open once, too: I was rolling down the sidewalk on...
“In recent years, seats have been adopted to provide various functions in addition to their basic seating function. Toilet seats, for example, have been designed to provide features which increase the comfort of the user. One particular type of toilet seat commonly referred to as a cushioned...
I recently stopped at a motel along Route 66, where I encountered a pearly-white creature crawling on the pillow that would send an itch through my entire body. Of course, I assumed the worst: That it was a bed bug and that my skin, even though I...
I often observe, bemused, as my girlfriend fiddles with her eyelashes before presenting herself to the general public. She chomps on them with a strange metal clamp thingy, darkens them with some black sludge and combs them with a miniature round brush that looks like it was...
A while back, I reported that frozen fruits and vegetables are perhaps even healthier than the fresh kind, and my freezer has since become a mecca for broccoli, spinach and tropical fruit blends. I now plan on constructing the ultimate freezer, where an assortment of healthy foods can escape...
When you’re a dad, parenting questions often come up that you struggle to find an answer to. Since other parents are the worst and Google will send you down a rabbit hole of paralyzing, paranoid terror, we’re here to help by putting those questions to the experts....
The past week was glorious. You tried every possible combination at the hotel omelette bar, became a treasured regular at the swim-up pool bar and even learned how to make an epic Sex on the Beach from some dude at the beach who said he was a mixologist, but may...
You flush the toilet, wash your hands and now, as warm water cascades down your fingertips, you face a critical decision: Should you use some paper towels, the hand dryer, or stick it to the Man and wipe those damps hands on your pants? You have your...
Preparing for a vacation can be exhausting: You need to get your work done in advance; meticulously pack any necessities; and possibly find a responsible human to look after your house, kids and/or pets while you’re gone. Hell, you might even be forced to spend some precious margarita money...
Bad breath might sound like a superficial problem that can be alleviated with something as simple as a mint. But when you have chronic halitosis — foul-smelling breath that never seems to go away, no matter how diligent your dental hygiene — the impact can be absolutely...
Famed French poet Anatole France once said, “To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.” Well, Anatole, this summer, I believe I can drink enough blended booze to forget who I am while also not putting on 20 pounds....
