“Wallet, phone, keys.” This is what I say to myself every day before leaving my house. The first two have their designated spots: The wallet goes in the front left pants pocket, phone goes in the front right, but the keys screw me up. Usually they go...
IT’S OVER! Screw everyone, I’m taking time for myself! I’m going to LIVE! ….I’m lonely and I need a hug. SCREW THAT! I’m wild and free and single and I’m going to have sex with all the things! …..I miss spooning while watching three seasons of The Great...
Like pretty much all men, I hate going to the doctor. The only time in recent memory that I’ve made an exception to my medical professional-avoidance policy is when I got poison ivy on my penis (don’t ask) and I went to urgent care immediately. Outside of...
When you’re a dad, parenting questions often come up that you struggle to find an answer to. Since other parents are the worst and Google will send you down a rabbit hole of paralyzing, paranoid terror, we’re here to help by putting those questions to the experts....
Potty Talk is a one-panel comic about the funny thoughts, observations and fears men have in the bathroom. This week’s is from illustrator Burton Durand. Check out his Instagram here.
New research claims that eating directly before going to sleep might increase your risk of developing either breast or prostate cancer (depending which you own), an unfortunate development considering my penchant for gorging on peanut butter pretzels moments before passing out. Specifically, the research found that having...
There’s nothing more anti-American than giving up — you might as well strangle a bald eagle, wrap it in an upside down American flag and burn it on the steps of the White House. The “never give up” adage is the cornerstone of our culture: It’s in our songs,...
What goes in must come out. What goes up must come down. And after a dude ejaculates, he sometimes feel really, really sad. Philosophers and scientists have long had a few theories as to why men get these feelings, but now psychology professor Robert Schweitzer of Queensland...
We’ve all experienced them: Those sweaty, miserably humid summer nights when it’s just too hot to sleep. But why does the weather have such an impact on our snooze time? “The brain regulates body temperature and sleep in a shared area called the hypothalamus, so it’s not...
I’m somewhat ashamed to admit that my booze stash consists of a half-empty bottle of two-year-old vodka in the freezer, a random assortment of maybe three beers in the fridge and a cheap bottle of red wine that was opened at some unknown point in time on...
We’ve officially entered into flip-flop season, and if you’re planning on baring your feet for the world to see, take heed: If those babies aren’t in good shape, people will be very, very upset. Look, I get it. Your feet have been confined to thick socks and...
Evaluating the healthiest type of encased meat is sort of like ranking types of ice cream by the same standard. Because every nutritionist I spoke to quickly offered the same response: None of them. “They’re all so high in sodium, and the kind you find on supermarket...
