It seems like any other day — you’re at work, going about your usual routine, uploading an early morning number two into the porcelain cloud. Everything seems like it’s going smoothly, but then you notice something scary: Blood when you wipe. And you didn’t even wipe that hard! A...
There are certain words or phrases you never want to hear come out of a doctor’s mouth: “You know, this is the first time I’ve ever tried this procedure”; “I’ve never seen one that color before”; “HOLY CRAP WAYNE, COME AND LOOK AT THIS!”; and of course, “Cancer.” The...
Much like humans, spiders have to drink water, which explains why they might hang out in your bath or shower stall. But unfortunately for those spiders, spending time in the bathroom might also mean being washed down the drain whenever you decide to take a shower (after...
I’m one of those people who can’t sleep without my ceiling fan whirring on full speed above my bed (apologies to my chronically frigid girlfriend), so you can imagine my dismay when a recent string of articles suggested that sleeping with a fan on poses some significant...
Potty Talk is a one-panel comic about the funny thoughts, observations and fears men have in the bathroom. This week’s is from illustrator Burton Durand. Check out his Instagram here.
About a week ago, as I went to feed my 10-year-old pet turtle Grover a bunch of dried turtle pellets, I looked deep into his eyes and wondered: “Does he even know who I am?” “Does he trust me?” Or even, dare I ask, “Does he love...
Odds are, it was just a fit of blind fury when you told your partner that you only married them for their money. But in the moment, you were angry: The world was on fire, and awful things somehow escaped from your mouth. Because if there’s one...
Humans evolved to stand upright and outrun their predators, so it’s no wonder sitting sedentary in a halogen-lit office is ruining the species. But it’s not just your lower back and general outlook on life slowly being crippled by your 9-to-5. It’s also your butt. Hemorrhoids. Irritation....
Unfortunately, there are no puberty-adjacent symptoms that correspond with getting your life together. You don’t start growing hair under your arms when it’s time to quit trying to make it as an actor, and you probably don’t start throwing temper tantrums at your parents when it’s time to buy...
A modern truism: America’s lengthy history of hating on shorts has bred whole generations of inexperienced male shorts-wearers. This unfamiliarity with bare-legged style has led to many a heinous outfit, such as the classic “dad on vacation” look of jean shorts, knee-high socks and sandals. The good...
According to stereotypes, mechanics exist to prey on those of us not mechanically inclined, try to scare the heck out of us, sell us parts and fluids and fixes we don’t need, and screw with us about how much it’ll cost and how much longer they’ll need...
Night sweaters can be divided into three categories: Men, women and children. “The reasons why people sweat at night is quite gendered,” says Rafael Reisfeld, a surgeon at the Center For Hyperhidrosis. But hold up: First, what the heck are night sweats anyway? According to the Mayo...
