One would expect that bashing the crosswalk button like a whack-a-mole produces actual results, especially since the city went to the trouble of installing them. But much like how colleges promised millennials a life of financial stability and instead gave them one of constant debts and worthless degrees, most...
Of all the so-called hangover remedies — pounding water, devouring greasy foods and drinking more alcohol — sweating it out is reserved for the bold. Most of us can barely roll out of bed when we’re hungover, let along jog around the block until we’re dripping. Still,...
Sometimes, you look at a guy in the gym and think: Huh, he’s got a bit of a gut — bet he doesn’t work out very hard. Then, said guy proceeds to lift a 1978 Volkswagen bus over his head with one arm while still doing lateral...
Sure, I understand you want to make every moment count on vacation, especially since you spent the last nine months carving “I need a break” into the side of your cubicle. So you booked every possible excursion, including a guided meditation in the janitor’s closet and an interactive...
It was my first day of vacation, and I was boozing on the beach. Naturally, I got completely wasted and stupidly decided that it would be a good idea to sprint into the ocean… without emptying my pockets. Now, all of my stuff is soaked, and my...
“If man was meant to fly, he’d have been given wings,” says the old mantra we ignore every time we step through the metal detector and head for the bar in the departure lounge. But there’s some truth to it: Nothing about humans flying is natural, and...
Congrats! You’ve reached the light at the end of the tunnel — the light being a poolside Mai Tai and the tunnel being nine long months of soul-crushing office work. Now here you are, sipping on bottomless tropical drinks and roasting under the sun, detaching as far as...
Are you one of those guys who wants to look stylish but finds it doesn’t come all that naturally? Sick of condescending fashion articles telling you why you need to buy $200 T-shirts? Just want to know how to look, well, good? We feel you. Welcome to...
Nothing is more perilous to being “poolside presentable” than cold water’s ability to shrivel up your penis like a startled snail retreating into its shell. Shrinkage has prevented countless men from not just partaking in cold-water skinny dips, but merely getting sack-deep in cold water alone. This summer,...
Being a good dad begins the moment you choose to have a child, and that means the first thing you need to do is become an expert on pregnancy. Naturally, many men are clueless about what brewing a literal human inside a body involves, since most of them...
A few years back, human-resources consultant Tim Sackett was hired to help the employees at an automotive parts manufacturer transition to a new office. The company was relocating from Livonia, Michigan, in the south Detroit suburbs to Auburn Hills in the north Detroit suburbs. For a lucky...
Anyone who’s ever gotten dressed for work in a muggy gym changing room following an early morning workout knows that the experience is nightmarish. Pulling on a shirt over clammy skin is the worst, and the sweat that keeps trickling down your back comes direct from the...
