If you ever find yourself lost in the cosmetics aisle at your local drugstore — that aisle is a freaking labyrinth, dude — you know that there are all kinds of creams, balms and goops out there, characterized under all sorts of different names. Three of the...
A tiny, portable television was one of the most invaluable items in my home growing up. It was ancient and useless — at best, it might pick up portions of a mattress commercial once every few months. The rest of the time, the shoebox-sized device blared “snow,”...
If there was one really annoying thing about shaving, it’s the unfortunate tendency to wind up with irritating little red bumps on the parts of your face where the prospect of irritating red bumps is most likely to maximize that annoyance. The neck, the crease around your...
In the final months before Al Gore lost the 2000 election, John and Catherine Walter sent the incumbent vice president an advanced copy of their 25 page report, which they titled “The Hair Part Theory.” It was such groundbreaking research, they believed, that if Gore would simply...
You mustered all of your strength to keep them cheeks clenched while you waddled to the closest bathroom, but between the nine IPAs you chugged last night and the seven lattes you absorbed this morning, there was, unfortunately, no stopping the violent deluge that inevitably followed. Making...
The phrase, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” has me sprinting toward the grave. I am a Sleeper. I love my sleep, I never sacrifice it and I can never truly get enough of it. Yet despite my allegiance to slumber — or perhaps because of it —...
We’ve all been there: In the bathroom at 2 a.m., bleary-eyed with a pounding headache and fumbling through the medicine cabinet in search of the child-proof bottle of over-the-counter pain medication to help take the pain away. Problem is, that bottle of Advil or Tylenol or —...
You might be thinking that the real secret to a great cup of coffee is having access to the best arabica and robusta beans (the two most common types of coffee beans). And, sure, you’re not wrong — good coffee beans are vital to the coffee-making process. But as Wired previously...
For the longest time when it came to skin care, most guys were content to live in the stone age, back when moisturizer wasn’t a thing and all-in-one cleansers filled men’s shower caddies from coast to coast. But now it’s 2020, and as a famous poet once...
Every winter I trot out giant sheets of plastic and tape them over my windows in a futile attempt to insulate myself from the frozen hellscape outside. And every winter, the absolute misery of this project feels less and less worth it. Working from home in a rickety...
I have tattoos scrawled across my entire body, stretching from my fingers to my toes. My hair is long enough to touch my shoulders, where it commonly shrouds my pierced ears, except for on the days when I decide to wear it up in a bun. I...
If the modern automobile had a status on Facebook, it would undoubtedly be “It’s complicated.” With their computer-controlled fuel-injection systems, continuously variable transmissions and three-phase four-pole AC induction motors, the days when every Tom, Dick or Harry could wrench on their ride seem long gone. So let...
