If we’re going to call a spade a spade, then the first line of the preamble should be edited to say: “We, the mostly obese people of United States…” Because let’s face it, we’re fat. Amongst industrialized countries, America is the fattest of them all, with two...
When you’re a dad, parenting questions often come up that you struggle to find an answer to. Since other parents are the worst and Google will send you down a rabbit hole of paralyzing, paranoid terror, we’re here to help by putting those questions to the experts....
There are few instances that provoke riot-type behavior from me — a generally level-headed guy — more than a bartender measuring the amount of alcohol they’re about to pour into my glass as though it’s the chemical catalyst for an atomic bomb. Yes, it’s their job not...
It’s a universal truth: No matter what time of day it is or how jet-lagged you are from your flight, as soon as you enter that hotel room with your significant other, all you want to do is bang. Unpacking can wait as you momentarily forget how gross those sheets...
A little while back, a couple nutrition experts told USA Today that the ultimate hangover cure is an omelette for breakfast and soup for lunch. *checks to make sure I read that right* Look, yes, when you get into the science of it, their reasoning seems sensible:...
I recently saw a product that promised to eliminate any odor from any body part for three whole days. While that seems magical if we’re talking about, say, butt sweat in the summer, it doesn’t seem so great if we’re talking about overall body smells. Listen, guys,...
“Men’s nipples can be carnal command centers.” This is the phrase that sticks most in my head after a week of looking deep into the mystery of men’s hard nipples. The sentence appeared in a 2014 Cosmopolitan piece about male nipple sensitivity, and I’m not sure if it’s just...
My nights are mostly spent competing with both my girlfriend and our 70-pound pitbull for bed space. We have a queen bed, which was (kinda) enough when it was only the two of us. But when we adopted our dog, he insisted on taking up as much...
I’m currently in the midst of a chaotic move, and let me tell you: I’m one more heavy dresser away from blowing my brains out. Now, I admit to taking the cheap (and painful) route: My girlfriend and I rented a small moving truck for about $140,...
“No, you can’t use the water fountain.” “Why?” “Because, here’s the thing… Water fountains are gross. There’s tons of germs on there and I don’t want you to use one. Ever.” This was the exact conversation I had with my three-year-old recently when we were at a...
Like the first day of school, therapy (aka, the first time you introduce yourself to a complete stranger and confide in them your deepest, most abhorrent flaws in the hope of becoming a slightly better-adjusted human being) can be nerve-racking. In fact, for men especially, who —...
Potty Talk is a one-panel comic about the funny thoughts, observations and fears men have in the bathroom. This week’s is from illustrator Burton Durand. Check out his Instagram here.
