Unfortunately, human beings aren’t vinyl collections, which means they’re not only far more difficult to dust, you also can’t exactly divvy them up the way you would your Beatles albums. Which is why, when you break up with a person, one of the more complicated questions can...
It’s well understood that couples face any number of battlegrounds upon shacking up to supply the abode with goods and victuals. Among the most notorious is shopping at one popular Swedish furniture store, where psychologists have deemed the place a literal “map of a relationship nightmare,” where...
Every so often, for seemingly no apparent reason, men are met with one of the great pleasures of owning a penis: The opportunity to pee into a urinal filled with ice. It’s a unique satisfaction — bestial, even — to mark one’s territory in a dive bar...
The Irish goodbye, the shamrock shuffle, ghosting (in the sense of leaving a party without saying bye; not cutting off someone you’re dating), or what I like to call the secret bail, is nothing new. Essays have abounded on the internet for the last few years both...
Recently, a cable news host claimed he hadn’t washed his hands in 10 years. He can’t see the germs, he said, “therefore they’re not real.” He continued that he believes the practice bolsters his immune system and prevents him from getting diseases. I had a sixth-grade teacher...
Cut and color your hair however you want; wear what you want to wear; get eyelash extensions, or don’t; eat what you want to eat: These are my general responses when having a conversation with my significant other about her body. Obviously, some of these typical couple...
Sometime in 2016, just as opioid use in the U.S. was reaching epidemic proportions and adult obesity rates were hitting 40 percent, the population was being woken up to yet another surging health crisis. “Tech neck” was being diagnosed among more and more people whose default head...
When I was gifted my first car — a rundown 1990-something Volvo wagon — my parents told me that I would have to pay more for auto insurance than my older sister. The reason for this discrepancy was apparently that, as one car insurance provider explains on their...
When you’re a dad, parenting questions often come up that you struggle to find an answer to. Since other parents are the worst and Google will send you down a rabbit hole of paralyzing, paranoid terror, we’re here to help by putting those questions to the experts....
There’s nothing more awkward than speaking to someone who can’t look you in the eye, and there’s nothing creepier than someone who seemingly can’t stop. Solving the problem of finding the perfect amount of eye contact is complicated by the fact that it really depends on the...
George Mallory, the mountaineer who died attempting to summit Everest in 1924, is said to have given a three-word reply when asked why he wanted to climb the peak: “Because it’s there.” Is this the same reason that certain people — they tend to be male, young and...
I was recently perusing r/IdiotsInCars when I stumbled upon a seemingly ordinary dash cam video of a seemingly standard car crash. The alleged “idiot,” in this case, recklessly merges in front of a driver with the dash cam installed, who proceeds to crash directly into the side...