“Shut up.” “Please shut up.” “Shut your giant flapping mouth-hole before I blow my brains out all over this restaurant you waste of time and oxygen!” These, of course, are the things you want to say when you’re locked in a seemingly endless conversation with that annoying neighbor, that...
If you pee in the pool, it’ll go blue! There’s a special dye in there, designed to detect urine, and it’ll billow around you in a big, embarrassing, pee cloud, and everyone will know you’ve done it, and you’ll be hounded out of town as a known...
The world is a cruel and unpredictable place, and while some dudes are lacking in the hair department, other people have more than they could ever need or want. Among the latter group are a subset of people who feel both ashamed of and burdened by the...
We often assume that plastic surgery is a big deal, and sure, some procedures — liposuction, male breast reduction, etc. — involve intrusive operations and lengthy recovery times that require living as one gigantic bandage for weeks on end. But there are several minimally invasive plastic surgeries...
There are few moments when a man feels more like a man than when he removes a tight lid from a jar. There’s something fundamentally satisfying about that little “pop” sound, which lets us know that we’ve won — we’ve conquered that villainous jar and our heroic, manly strength...
A couple weeks ago, I visited my dentist for a routine cleaning, and he recommended I replace my original silver-colored amalgam fillings with more contemporary tooth-colored ones. I admit, I was almost persuaded (but eventually decided that spending a few hundred bucks so people would stop noticing...
Despite what Hollywood wants you to believe, the American expectation that teeth should be a lustrous white is — quite literally — inhuman. Our chompers are naturally more of a cream color, and only cosmetic treatments can make them a gleaming white. Regardless, our preference for oral...
In 1939, Julius Fromm, the man who built a condom empire in post-WWI Germany, fled to London in fear for his life. Seeing the writing on the wall for Jews in Germany, Fromm knew he’d be no exception, especially since he was a prominent liberal Jew who...
According to the American Hair Loss Association, a whopping 85 percent of men experience noticeable hair loss by age 50. The one upside is, at least all those dudes can commiserate together. But those who deal with conspicuous hair loss at a much younger age — say,...
Research shows that human homes harbor an average of 100 different insect species, regardless of cleanliness or the presence of pets, which often provide outdoor bugs with free (albeit bumpy) rides to the great indoors. Glancing around my home office, I see a small spider hanging in an upper...
I don’t know about you, but when I head to a buffet, I think of it as if I’m going to war. I don’t eat for hours beforehand, and when I get there, I make sure that I get my full money’s worth. Screw the salad bar and...
Ever had the urge to walk right across America, from Mexico to Canada, all by yourself? These three guys have — on the Pacific Crest Trail, or PCT, a months-long, 2,650-mile hike through California, Oregon and Washington. What’s it like being outside and on the move for several...