There’s a text message on my phone that I’m terrified to answer. It seems innocuous, but it’s been sitting in my phone for two years. “Hey, man, you want to get a drink this week?” writes a guy I’ll call Sam. “It’s been a while!” Thing is,...
Alcohol truly is a magical substance: It’s the only depressant that can act like a stimulant; it’s been revered since its conception as nectar of the gods; one of the oldest distilled spirits is eau de vie, which translates to water of life; and of course, hard alcohols are called...
Ah, what a party the last few months have been. You had loads of vacation time for the holidays, saw a bunch of old friends and drank enough liquor to erase your memory of the whole shebang. Wait, how did it become January? Anyway, now that the...
Most of us spend our entire lives trying to avoid mucking up. But unless you’ve never had any dreams or goals or really any sort of ambitions at all, chances are you’ve failed at something at least once in your life. And it’s also just as likely...
I can’t imagine not coming home for Christmas, if only because it’s also my niece’s birthday and I love my mommy. But not everyone feels the warm fuzzies for their family members, and even if they do, that $1,000 roundtrip plane ticket home can really test the...
If you’re anything like me, you have a lot of friends who like to drink. Maybe they’re whiskey people, gin people or anything-I-can-get-my-hands-on people, but every year you know you can wipe out half your holiday shopping list by a trip to the liquor store. And that’s...
Parenting a pet, no matter what kind, can be a frustrating and bewildering experience. Animals can’t tell you what they want and need (directly, at least), so we’re here to help you answer any questions you have about your favorite companion — whether they be furry, slimy,...
Every holiday season, there’s an endless stream of unsolicited advice about how to play nice with family you’d otherwise pretend didn’t exist. And while some of it is useful — especially this — I prefer to look to the stars on how best to navigate the Christmas dinner...
You spent last Christmas lodging with family, gobbling their ham and guzzling their beer, so it makes sense that you felt compelled to return the favor this year. Now, these relatives — whether your own or ones you acquired upon marriage — are nice and all, but...
Holiday season, apart from probably being the only time you’ll drink copious amounts of spiked eggnog, is inevitably the time you’ll be forced to hang out with family members you’ve spent the majority of your life trying to avoid. Maybe it’s the uncle who assumes the role...
As someone raised in the South by poor rural farm women, I can’t remember a single situation where I wasn’t warned in advance not to embarrass the heck out of my elders by being an unkempt, ill-mannered garbage child. Every Christmas growing up, my mother forced us...
Having to crash with in-laws (or anyone else) over the holidays can put just about anyone on edge. Besides them being at least some kind of crazy, the nagging feeling that you could be overstaying your welcome, draining their fridge or just plain getting in the way...