Chances are, if you’re reading this article, you’re doing so on your fifth, sixth or maybe even the seventh tab of your browser. Perhaps you saw this headline and figured, “Ehh, I could maybe read that later,” then did what we all do when we want to...
It was the summer of 2007, and I was checking out apartments for my upcoming senior year of college. After being shown a handful of locations by a student rental service, I arrived at a decent-sized apartment that my realtor went on to describe thusly as we...
Occasionally, doing research for articles leads me to question some of my core beliefs. For example, I thought it was normal to use the same towel for days on end, and just the other day I learned my showering habits were all wrong. What else am I doing wrong?...
For 99.9 percent of the human population, that finely dressed mannequin in the window display might as well have the measurements of an entirely different species. Most of us, even at our best physical selves, don’t measure up to the androgynous 6-foot tall plaster figurine with a...
Humans, as you know, need food to survive — and many humans, as you may also know, have a lengthy, complicated relationship with food, which might help explain why sharing it can be so incredibly frustrating. But when you share a home with someone — be it...
Unfortunately, human beings aren’t vinyl collections, which means they’re not only far more difficult to dust, you also can’t exactly divvy them up the way you would your Beatles albums. Which is why, when you break up with a person, one of the more complicated questions can...
It’s well understood that couples face any number of battlegrounds upon shacking up to supply the abode with goods and victuals. Among the most notorious is shopping at one popular Swedish furniture store, where psychologists have deemed the place a literal “map of a relationship nightmare,” where...
Every so often, for seemingly no apparent reason, men are met with one of the great pleasures of owning a penis: The opportunity to pee into a urinal filled with ice. It’s a unique satisfaction — bestial, even — to mark one’s territory in a dive bar...
The Irish goodbye, the shamrock shuffle, ghosting (in the sense of leaving a party without saying bye; not cutting off someone you’re dating), or what I like to call the secret bail, is nothing new. Essays have abounded on the internet for the last few years both...
Recently, a cable news host claimed he hadn’t washed his hands in 10 years. He can’t see the germs, he said, “therefore they’re not real.” He continued that he believes the practice bolsters his immune system and prevents him from getting diseases. I had a sixth-grade teacher...
Cut and color your hair however you want; wear what you want to wear; get eyelash extensions, or don’t; eat what you want to eat: These are my general responses when having a conversation with my significant other about her body. Obviously, some of these typical couple...
The necessity for toilet paper has existed since long before the invention of paper (or, indeed, toilets). Initially, the most common solution for bum-wiping was whatever happened to be within arm’s reach, and there was nothing, er, charmin’, shall we say, about the shells, snow, sheep’s wool,...