Hey, you big drunk dummy. Are you reading this after your eighth post-midnight tequila shot, wondering by what grace of God you’ll be able to sober up enough to make it to your 4 a.m. flight in one piece? Well, I’ve got some bad news, my sweet blackout buddy: You’re...
Science continues to implore that we make more time for sleep, but there are these things called smartphones, and staring at them instead of sleeping is enjoyable, addictive and something I tend to spend my nights doing. The problem is, less time sleeping and more time gawking...
A lot of people can apparently take this in stride; my own girlfriend claims to “love” the heat, which is unfortunate given that I want to commiserate with someone over how miserable being hot is. All my life, I’ve felt like I “run hot.” Growing up in...
When it comes to working out, we’re not all strongmen like Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson (aka The Mountain). In fact, many of us could go our entire lives and still have no clue how a lat pull-down differs from an incline bench. Which is to say, there’s no shame in...
Returning to the gym locker room can be even more intimidating than returning to the actual gym after spending nine months making excuses (my arm muscle was busted, I swear). For good reason, too: There are a bunch of new faces, with the same idea as you,...
According to the many, many pseudo self-care experts out there, being nice to yourself means spending $125,000 on the 18k gold dumbbells they’re shilling, purchasing Psychic Vampire Repellent or maybe putting yourself through the very specific, flatulent hell of a coffee enema. But according to most psychological experts,...
My boyfriend’s sporadic sleep schedule means he’ll probably die young of intestinal cancer. His shifts at work begin anywhere from 5:30 in the morning to 10:30 at night, meaning there’s no true pattern to his sleeping hours — or time spent with me. Not to mention, he can’t...
We were descending into Los Angeles from Chicago, which meant the seatbelt lights were on. Had I not woken up with an insufferably full bladder, this would’ve been fine. But I swear I had near-emergency levels of pee pushing to get out, setting off alarms in my...
I’ve got some good news that might seem like bad news at first: People who do housework live longer than those who don’t. You might be thinking, Ugh, another thing I’d rather avoid, even if it takes years off my life. But instead, look at it this...
Given that the whole point of the alarm clock is to wake you up, it’s a marvel that it somehow strengthened the product’s appeal when someone added a button that allows you to delay that process by several increments of nine minutes until there’s no point in...
We mostly all agree that hot tubs, massages and the like feel good, but ask anyone why and you’ll get a shrug (which is fair! That person was trying to relax, after all). Understanding what these self-care activities are doing to your body — and more importantly,...
When it comes to working out, we’re not all strongmen like Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson (aka The Mountain). In fact, many of us could go our entire lives and still have no clue how a lat pull-down differs from an incline bench. Which is to say, there’s no shame in...