You’ve probably seen the story shared on social media, or on one of those Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: emails from your mom: As a lark, a dude finds his ex-girlfriend’s pregnancy test in his bathroom and, naturally, he pees on it, as men are wont to do....
I had quite a talent for collecting scars when I was a kid — I cracked my forehead open twice, once on my metal bed frame and again on a slippery pool deck. I sliced my hand open once, too: I was rolling down the sidewalk on...
I recently stopped at a motel along Route 66, where I encountered a pearly-white creature crawling on the pillow that would send an itch through my entire body. Of course, I assumed the worst: That it was a bed bug and that my skin, even though I...
A while back, I reported that frozen fruits and vegetables are perhaps even healthier than the fresh kind, and my freezer has since become a mecca for broccoli, spinach and tropical fruit blends. I now plan on constructing the ultimate freezer, where an assortment of healthy foods can escape...
The past week was glorious. You tried every possible combination at the hotel omelette bar, became a treasured regular at the swim-up pool bar and even learned how to make an epic Sex on the Beach from some dude at the beach who said he was a mixologist, but may...
Famed French poet Anatole France once said, “To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.” Well, Anatole, this summer, I believe I can drink enough blended booze to forget who I am while also not putting on 20 pounds....
According to a recent study reported in Newsweek, Americans are traveling abroad more than ever before, and spent about $135 billion on overseas tourism in 2017. With more international travel, though, comes the inevitable — jet lag, or to give it its fancy medical name, desynchronosis. If you’ve had...
In a world where every fact is someone else’s #FakeNews, no topic is safe. For example: Stretching. Numerous stories on the internet say stretching before exercise is bad for you because it can make working out less effective — or even increase your risk of injury. But...
You were nine vodkas deep when brunch plans were being made. In the hours that have since passed, you (somehow) spent $68 on fast food, puked in the kitchen sink and woke up feeling like a pizza pocket that was microwaved for six consecutive hours (which is ironic,...
Here’s a hypothetical that’s probably more real than not for most people: You’ve spent 20 years or more hating your body, seemingly unable to drop those last few pounds that stand between you and happiness, despite seemingly constantly denying yourself the food you really want, and working...
I’ve finally stopped fighting it and accepted the fact that I’m a doddering idiot, forsaken to a life without expensive sunglasses because I will inevitably sit on them or lose them. To wit, I’ve owned countless pairs of semi-expensive sunglasses — all of which are either currently sitting...
When it comes to working out, we’re not all strongmen like Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson (aka The Mountain). In fact, many of us could go our entire lives and still not know our lat pull-downs from our incline benches from our deadlifts. Which is to say, there’s no shame in...
