Being an adult is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. I had a whole bunch of awesome hobbies when I was a teenager — playing sports, making music, jumping on trampolines and whatnot — but I had to abandon them all, just so I could make enough...
On a recent trip to the doctor’s office, I was brutally reminded of where I stand in my girlfriend’s life. The moment — which hit me like a middle-of-the-night spider bite that you don’t feel until the morning — occurred when the doctor’s secretary asked her who...
Sit back, relax, kick your feet up. All of those things sound good in theory, but you know in the back of your head that you just might regret it later when you’re all cramped up and your back is a mess. The whole point of lounging...
We mostly all agree that hot tubs, massages and the like feel good, but ask anyone why and you’ll get a shrug (which is fair! That person was trying to relax, after all). Understanding what these self-care activities are doing to your body — and more importantly,...
Call me conventional, but I prefer to have three regular meals a day. I mean, I guess I can see why someone might feel inclined to consume all of their daily calories at once — finding the time and motivation to eat three times a day can be a challenge sometimes....
My vision has gotten rapidly worse over the last few years, and my optometrists have told me that basically, it’s because I’m on my phone all the time (not to mention I spend an average of eight hours a day in front of my computer for work)....
Hey, you big drunk dummy. Are you reading this after your eighth post-midnight tequila shot, wondering by what grace of God you’ll be able to sober up enough to make it to your 4 a.m. flight in one piece? Well, I’ve got some bad news, my sweet blackout buddy: You’re...
Science continues to implore that we make more time for sleep, but there are these things called smartphones, and staring at them instead of sleeping is enjoyable, addictive and something I tend to spend my nights doing. The problem is, less time sleeping and more time gawking...
A lot of people can apparently take this in stride; my own girlfriend claims to “love” the heat, which is unfortunate given that I want to commiserate with someone over how miserable being hot is. All my life, I’ve felt like I “run hot.” Growing up in...
When it comes to working out, we’re not all strongmen like Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson (aka The Mountain). In fact, many of us could go our entire lives and still have no clue how a lat pull-down differs from an incline bench. Which is to say, there’s no shame in...
Returning to the gym locker room can be even more intimidating than returning to the actual gym after spending nine months making excuses (my arm muscle was busted, I swear). For good reason, too: There are a bunch of new faces, with the same idea as you,...
According to the many, many pseudo self-care experts out there, being nice to yourself means spending $125,000 on the 18k gold dumbbells they’re shilling, purchasing Psychic Vampire Repellent or maybe putting yourself through the very specific, flatulent hell of a coffee enema. But according to most psychological experts,...