3 Things We Learned About Our Penis in 2016

Penis transplants are now a reality; the British have low expectations when it comes to size; and spider bites to the nethers are no good.


Every month we try to learn three things about our body. What’s going on down there? Why does it do that? Will it ever stop? With 2016 drawing to a close, we’ve rounded up some of the most fascinating things we’ve learned about our favorite and most important body parts. Keep an eye out for our other pieces focusing on our brains, our general bodies and our hair, but for now, here are three memorable things we learned about our genitals this year.

America Successfully Handled Its First Penis Transplant

Once a pipe dream of small-peckered men everywhere, penis transplants are now a reality in America. Thomas Manning, a 64-year-old bank courier from Halifax, Mass., underwent a 15-hour penis transplant in May after his was removed because of cancer. Manning says it took him several days to look at his new member, which came from a deceased donor. Although he could urinate normally, and sexual function returned after several months, reproduction is no longer possible as he did not receive new testes. Still, the procedure was doubtless life-changing news for the 1,367 male veterans currently suffering from genitourinary injuries—here’s to sincerely hoping they’ll all get to salute a whole new flagpole soon enough.

British People Have Small Expectations When it Comes to Penis Size

A UK study earlier this year asked women and men from Europe and North America to guess the length of the average erect penis, then say what they considered to be an ideal penis, length-wise. American respondents were pretty spot-on with their assumptions: They they guessed 5.7 inches, while it’s been reported that the average American man’s penis length is 5.6 inches. People in the UK, however, had the lowest expectations about penis size, at 4.8 inches. If that’s what’s in the average British gent’s pants, it’s lucky they’re so bloody charming.

Once Again, 2016 Proves There is No Limit to the Strange Things that Can Happen to a Penis

Penises have been getting people into all sorts of trouble this year, and in increasingly unlikely ways. A man in East China’s Zhejiang Province managed to get a chop stick stuck in his urethra, while a man in Sydney, Australia managed to get bitten on the penis by a deadly redback spider—for the second time in five months. A penis accidentally popped up (so to speak) on a science report for a local news station, and for one pole vaulter, the only thing in the way of achieving his dreams was, well, his own personal pole. As ever, the lesson here is, keep it in your pants. And use a fork.