7 Percent of Men Talk on the Phone While Pooping

Discover what men do on the toilet (besides the obvious), and just how much filthier your phone is after using it there.


If you’ve ever noticed a certain… strain entering a man’s voice during a phone call, the above chart finally sheds some light on what might be causing that to happen. Of the men we spoke to, seven percent admitted to flouting accepted rules of bathroom conduct and mixing taking-care-of-business with pleasure.

While over a third of men choose to do nothing on the bowl but soak up that bathroom ambience, 53 percent distract themselves with their phones, a figure that shoots up to 105 percent* if you assume that they’re also using them for reading and listening to music. While a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do, it does raise the unpleasant question of hygiene.

We’ve talked before about why you should wash your hands after using the bathroom, but that doesn’t solve the problem of how filthy your phone is getting from all that bathroom use. Recent research—admittedly cited by a company selling an ultraviolet phone-cleaning device—claims that not only is the average cell phone crawling with 18 times more germs than a public restroom, but one is six phones actually contain traces of fecal matter. This is the device that we then press to the sides of our faces and wonder why we’re always getting sick.

As for all you chatty poopers out there, we humbly request that you resist embracing technology and avoid ever, ever Facetiming us.

*The total adds up to more than 100 percent because participants were able to tick multiple options. Talking, pooping and playing Sudoku simultaneously—who says men can’t multitask?