I love coffee. So when the opportunity came along to inject coffee up my butt, I did what any member of the millennial hipster-scum class would do: I gleefully volunteered on the condition that I could order the small-batch organic beans. The excitement began to fade when...
When it comes to human tears, the scientific community mostly cries uncle. “We hardly know what happens when we cry,” says Ad Vingerhoets, a professor at Tilburg University in the Netherlands and the one of the world’s foremost experts on crying. The only thing they’re completely certain...
My dad and I, we look alike. In fact, we look a lot like, which is perfectly normal, considering he’s one half of my reason for existence. But for those kids who don’t necessarily look much like their fathers, it might explain why some of those relationships...
Remember the myth about how sleeping on top of your textbook or tucking your flashcards underneath your pillow could help you retain the information by osmosis? You know — the one every bad student wished were true but very clearly wasn’t? Well, according to a new study published in Psychological...
There’s a seemingly endless number of reasons you might want to hurt your boss. Maybe they gave you more work without any extra compensation? Maybe they text you at all hours of the night, including weekends? Maybe they just called you an ***hole? Whatever the reason may...
First of all, it’s important to know that, contrary to popular belief, your so-called love muscle doesn’t contain any muscles (and definitely no bones) — that’s why you don’t have much physical control over its movement. The penis is really more like a sponge, which fills up with blood...
If you’re a halfway competent employee, you’ll hear a variation of the following phrase multiple times throughout your career: “You’ve done such an amazing job on [extra thing you did] that we’d like to add [more of same extra thing] to your responsibilities. Keep up the good...
Seemingly since the first caveman made a crack about his hairy back, telling jokes at your own expense has been considered anything but funny—for your mental health, at least. Some evidence: Only the sheer number of studies, life coaches and doctors that claim that self-deprecation is something...
I whisper when I order food at a restaurant, muzzling the deeper nodes in my vocal chords until I sound like Michael Jackson in interviews. The reason: I used to work in the service industry, so I’m all too familiar with loud, obnoxious jerks. My mouthing my...
Are you the type of guy who pictures himself playing catch with his kid in the backyard? Or maybe you see yourself singing lullabies to your niño as you cradle them in your arms. Either way, you imagine a future that includes fatherhood, and the supposed euphoria...
One moment, you’re shooting through the waves of the Pacific Ocean with your new mermaid tail, high-fiving dolphin flippers left and right. The next, you’re jolted from your lovely (and strangely erotic) dream by a shooting pain down your spine that feels like you’re being impaled by...
Here’s something that never happens: You’re at the gym, lifting some weights, doing some push-ups and examining yourself in the mirror. You pause mid-clench as some pulsating gym bro yells, “Yo, will someone turn up the Bach?” Of course it doesn’t happen: Every bro knows that when...