Dating is impossibly difficult. Living under your parents’ roof past age 18 is even more difficult. Put the two together and you come away with an awkwardness cocktail that smacks of basement must and secondhand embarrassment. In 2016, a Pew Research Center analysis found that living at...
Once upon a time, Mary had a little lamb. One day, that little lamb was slaughtered and a thin layer of that lamb’s cecum — a part of its intestine — was made into a condom so that you could use it to have sex without making babies. And everyone lived...
Is he looking at me? Why is he looking at me? Why is he grunting like that? Does he have to hover so close? I’ll just wait until he leaves. Uh oh, someone else just walked in… That’s my best guess at the inner monologue of a...
There is but one universal sound of urinary relief: The pee moan. The pee moan is the sort of unearned bodily relief generally reserved for the heavily constipated. It’s mediative; it’s poetic; it’s a sun-dappled Japanese garden with a stream tinkling through it. And the wonderful thing is,...
It’s a new year, and chances are, you’re like the millions of other people around the world dedicated to finally getting, like, totally ripped, brah. What this means in practical terms is that, if you’re like me and haven’t worked out since fourth-grade gym class, you’re going...
Are you self-destructive? Desperate to show off your bravado? Did you pour vodka into your eyeball? If your answer to all three questions is “yes,” congratulations, you are most definitely not among Earth’s most intelligent creatures! But that’s okay, because we’re here for you. We’re also here...
A few weeks ago, a friend asked me to sit in her house and watch her dog for a few days while she went away. In most cases, this would sound like a pain in the butt, but this was a request from a close friend — plus, her...
If you’ve ever ruminated on your own death, chances are you’ve considered a massive heart attack mid-orgasm while being ridden reverse cowgirl as a preferable way to go. But how likely is that, really? Let’s take a look at a few ways that sex affects the health...
According to new research from the University of Reading and the Federal University of Rio de Janeiro, hyper-masculine men — defined as those who exhibit traits such as competitiveness and aggressiveness — may be more likely to take part in pain research studies. Annoyingly, this could be skewing our understanding of...
It seems like we can’t go a month without hearing about some celebrity who dropped a bunch of weight by giving up alcohol. But for the rest of us beer-guzzling, vodka-shooting, wine-by-the-bag degenerates, is there any hope of shedding weight without having to do the unthinkable and...
Here’s the thing, bro: You have estrogen, bro. That’s right — the lady hormone. Even though you’re a testosterone-hoarding bro — who may even be taking testosterone right now to bro out with your bros and get buff — you too have estrogen coursing through your bro body. Let’s rap about this, testoster-bro-ne....
In this installment of our “What Makes Me a…” column, we asked five people what they think makes someone a good gift-giver. In the end, it really does seem that it’s the thought that counts… unless you’re staff writer Tracy Moore, in which case it’s asking her...