There is but one universal sound of urinary relief: The pee moan. The pee moan is the sort of unearned bodily relief generally reserved for the heavily constipated. It’s mediative; it’s poetic; it’s a sun-dappled Japanese garden with a stream tinkling through it. And the wonderful thing is,...
It’s a new year, and chances are, you’re like the millions of other people around the world dedicated to finally getting, like, totally ripped, brah. What this means in practical terms is that, if you’re like me and haven’t worked out since fourth-grade gym class, you’re going...
Are you self-destructive? Desperate to show off your bravado? Did you pour vodka into your eyeball? If your answer to all three questions is “yes,” congratulations, you are most definitely not among Earth’s most intelligent creatures! But that’s okay, because we’re here for you. We’re also here...
A few weeks ago, a friend asked me to sit in her house and watch her dog for a few days while she went away. In most cases, this would sound like a pain in the butt, but this was a request from a close friend — plus, her...
If you’ve ever ruminated on your own death, chances are you’ve considered a massive heart attack mid-orgasm while being ridden reverse cowgirl as a preferable way to go. But how likely is that, really? Let’s take a look at a few ways that sex affects the health...
According to new research from the University of Reading and the Federal University of Rio de Janeiro, hyper-masculine men — defined as those who exhibit traits such as competitiveness and aggressiveness — may be more likely to take part in pain research studies. Annoyingly, this could be skewing our understanding of...
It seems like we can’t go a month without hearing about some celebrity who dropped a bunch of weight by giving up alcohol. But for the rest of us beer-guzzling, vodka-shooting, wine-by-the-bag degenerates, is there any hope of shedding weight without having to do the unthinkable and...
Here’s the thing, bro: You have estrogen, bro. That’s right — the lady hormone. Even though you’re a testosterone-hoarding bro — who may even be taking testosterone right now to bro out with your bros and get buff — you too have estrogen coursing through your bro body. Let’s rap about this, testoster-bro-ne....
In this installment of our “What Makes Me a…” column, we asked five people what they think makes someone a good gift-giver. In the end, it really does seem that it’s the thought that counts… unless you’re staff writer Tracy Moore, in which case it’s asking her...
If you pee through your penis and you’re not a virgin, chances are you’ve participated in a game of post-coital pee Russian roulette. Like Forrest Gump’s box of chocolates, in this game, you never know what you’re going to get: Will it burn? Will it spray? Will...
In college, I had a friend named Randy who insisted that his pleated khakis, pastel button-down and oxblood loafers could cure any and all feelings of dread, particularly those experienced during a hangover. Now, Randy was notorious for losing his wallet, breaking his phone and vomiting on...
For reasons I can’t explain, my friends and I always seem to be engaged in our most inappropriate conversations when we’re at a restaurant. In these moments, we’re loud and raucous — right up until our server approaches the table, at which point we’ll fall completely silent until they...