Congratulations, cog! You’ve just been ostensibly gifted with every corporate minnow’s dream: You get to work from home and decide which hours you want to work and which hours you don’t. You’re your own boss now! Lol, just kidding, everything is terrible, including this seemingly pleasant new...
In the vast and ever-expanding catalogue of “serious talks” you might have with your significant other, letting them know that they reek is probably at the top of the “where do I even start” list. For example, there’s one redditor who complains that her significant other is unaware...
Bruh. I give up, breh. I’m telling you, brah, I endeavored to find a pattern: I wanted so badly to uncover the blueprint or even the architect behind the “Bro,” “Bruh,” “Breh,” “Brah” and “Bruv” complex. Which bros used which version, and where, and why. I believed...
There are certain experiences — like waving back at someone who wasn’t actually waving at you — that leave you feeling like slightly less of a person. Chief among them for me is the sign-language seminar I’m required to conduct in front of an automatic faucet’s sensor...
Most men’s bathrooms boasting four or more urinals feature at least one urinal that’s mounted slightly lower than the rest. This li’l guy is useful if you regularly have to take your young son to the bathroom so you can watch him reliably drop trou into a...
Are you a cracker? Do you like to crack? Is cracking your way of releasing tension after a long day of work? Well, fellow crack enthusiast who’s probably been told that too much cracking can lead to myriad health issues, here’s a quick anatomy lesson on what’s...
Here’s something you were probably never told as a teenager: If it’s exams week and you’re super-stressed trying to memorize scientific theorems or understand the allegory of the old man and the marlin, you can probably forget about using condoms when you have sex, because in all...
On the one hand, you’re a reasonable person who’s well aware that too much of anything is bad for you. But on the other, reasonably speaking, if you don’t drink five cups of coffee you’re going to shrivel up like a slug before drowning in roiling, exploding...
There was a time, before The Killers’ now infamous song lyric, that I would argue we were both human and dancer. The 20th century brimmed with those who could waltz and those who could twist. Either you could polka, tango or Charleston, or you could Cha Cha...
First, let’s approach this question from the warner’s perspective. According to Cosmopolitan, as the person doing the warning, you need to ask yourself: Why are you doing this? “Are you just wanting to destroy his new relationship? You need to be sure that the only reason you...
In the 17th century, knowing when to abandon a sinking ship was easy, due to the fact that the ship was quite literally sinking. Today, however, in a world overrun with modern-day corporate pirate ships, knowing when to bail on a failing start-up or collapsing legacy brand...
As anyone who’s ever had to traipse across the post-penis-ejaculating-inside-vagina minefield will tell you, not all pregnancy news is worthy of a high five. In fact, according to a Live Science report, at least 25 percent of women will decide they don’t want to have said child for any...