“Shut up.” “Please shut up.” “Shut your giant flapping mouth-hole before I blow my brains out all over this restaurant you waste of time and oxygen!” These, of course, are the things you want to say when you’re locked in a seemingly endless conversation with that annoying neighbor, that...
I rode a camel once, but I didn’t think to suck on its nipples, too, so — like much of America — the taste of camel milk has so far eluded me. My curiosity is growing, though, as I’m seeing more and more stories about just how...
There are few moments when a man feels more like a man than when he removes a tight lid from a jar. There’s something fundamentally satisfying about that little “pop” sound, which lets us know that we’ve won — we’ve conquered that villainous jar and our heroic, manly strength...
In 1939, Julius Fromm, the man who built a condom empire in post-WWI Germany, fled to London in fear for his life. Seeing the writing on the wall for Jews in Germany, Fromm knew he’d be no exception, especially since he was a prominent liberal Jew who...
I don’t know about you, but when I head to a buffet, I think of it as if I’m going to war. I don’t eat for hours beforehand, and when I get there, I make sure that I get my full money’s worth. Screw the salad bar and...
There are a lot of different ways to contract the dreaded runs — there’s bacterial infections, allergic reactions and spicy potato chips, just to name a few. But all forms of the runs are not equal. While many can be pretty easily tamed by over-the-counter antidiarrheals, some...
We’re in the midst of summer, which means when you’re not getting sandy in the scorching hot sun, you’re probably going to the movies to see some summer flicks, like the one with the dude in the spider costume or the other with that freaky clown. Whatever...
You’ve probably seen the story shared on social media, or on one of those Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: emails from your mom: As a lark, a dude finds his ex-girlfriend’s pregnancy test in his bathroom and, naturally, he pees on it, as men are wont to do....
“In recent years, seats have been adopted to provide various functions in addition to their basic seating function. Toilet seats, for example, have been designed to provide features which increase the comfort of the user. One particular type of toilet seat commonly referred to as a cushioned...
Have you ever felt like Milton from Office Space? Completely isolated from your peers, degraded by your bosses and reduced to nothing more than a mumbling, squirrel-watching, stapler-hoarding office leper? Well, the good news is that you aren’t alone. Actually, sorry, you are alone — that’s why...
Sometimes, you look at a guy in the gym and think: Huh, he’s got a bit of a gut — bet he doesn’t work out very hard. Then, said guy proceeds to lift a 1978 Volkswagen bus over his head with one arm while still doing lateral...
“If man was meant to fly, he’d have been given wings,” says the old mantra we ignore every time we step through the metal detector and head for the bar in the departure lounge. But there’s some truth to it: Nothing about humans flying is natural, and...