Perhaps you invested in the wrong cryptocurrency; perhaps you drank it all away at the local pub. Maybe you suffered a terrible event like a fire, or someone got sick and now you have to pay off their medical bills. Or it could be that you just...
On a recent episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, as Larry David neared the end of a therapy session, he turned his attention to just how uncomfortable the chair was that the therapist had chosen for his patients. As I do embarrassingly often when watching Curb, I found...
I’ve heard more than a few times that “your wife has the patience of a saint.” While it’s true that my wife is pretty patient, people have only said this to me because I happen to own a ridiculously huge collection of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles memorabilia,...
Until very recently, I was a firm believer in the “let’s just wing it” mentality. No matter the size of the presentation or the time I had to prepare for it, I held firm in the belief that my charm and quick wit would save me from...
Sure, you care about the environment, but, hey, you’re just one guy, so, what can you do? You can’t afford a clean air vehicle, so you’re sticking with burning up those dinosaur bones to get around. You’d like to volunteer your time to scrub oil off of...
Short answer: It’s four. But wait: Let’s examine this a little further. To start with, let’s compare two of the most significant groups in the history of human achievement: The Beatles and the Three Stooges. The Beatles — not coincidentally, also known as the “Fab Four” — revolutionized rock music while...
Grief is complicated. Whether the death of a loved one is expected or a complete shock, the feelings people go through are complex, confusing and ever-changing. All you want to do is be there for the person and offer your condolences, but it’s actually very easy to...
Roger Ebert once said, “There’s nothing like impending death to rouse you from existential boredom.” And that’s just making sure you get to as much bucket/screw-it-list entries as possible — Joe Versus the Volcano-style (a movie Ebert gave 3.5 stars btw). But there’s a lot of other stuff — most of...
When their name comes up on your phone, you just freeze — you can’t bear to put up with their annoying stuff right now. But you also know you can’t hit “ignore” because it will only cause a bigger problem later. Barely suppressing an, “Ugghhhh,” you answer: “What’s up…” This...
“MOTHERF*****!” That’s my curse word of choice every time I drop something, or bang my motherf***ing knee into my motherf***ing desk a-motherf***ing-gain. But then, perhaps I shouldn’t call it my word of choice, because it feels completely involuntary: I can’t help myself from blasting out this phrase every single...
On the sole of your foot, right in the center of the heel. According to the ancient practice of reflexology, that’s the zone of the foot that corresponds to the genitals. Further forward, in the arch of your foot, right before the ball, is the zone that...
Let me make a safe assumption: You’re probably at home this morning feeling uncomfortably bloated from yesterday’s Thanksgiving dinner. Most likely, you’re lounging around in your sweatpants as the waistband expands and contracts with each labored breath. Of course, nowadays, you could’ve left the house in your...