Farts are like snowflakes (I am not on drugs, I promise) — no two are the same. Some are thunderous, some are silent, some smell like nothing and some smell like grandparent foot. How each individual fart smells might seem random (especially during those nerve-racking moments after...
I know, onions are rarely the highlight of a dish (onion rings, excluded). But they still find their way into or onto most everything in one way or another. Onions come in many shapes and sizes, though, and assuming you want to incorporate the healthiest of the...
While I highly doubt the Founding Fathers could even have come close to fathoming the blasphemous creations modern restaurants have concocted, America was founded on the (bogus) belief that meat promotes good health and indicates economic success. So what better way to commemorate this indulgent sentiment than with a gargantuan...
Sex has the potential to be astonishingly dirty, and while I mean that figuratively, I also mean that quite literally. Look, fervently bumping bodies involves producing and swapping a hodgepodge of bodily fluids that inevitably linger around your nethers until the next shower. Which, for many, has...
There are times in life when everything else — meeting a deadline, running urgent errands, drinking 17 beers — takes precedence over eating the bologna sandwich you packed for lunch. But what happens to your insides when you deprive them of a meal? For starters, when you...
A recent Austrian study confirms the indelible belief that an apple a day keeps the doctor away — especially when you cram the whole freaking thing, core included, down your throat. The researchers estimate the average apple contains a whopping 100 million beneficial bacteria, which may help with digestive disorders,...
Somebody (surely, not you, as that would be impossible) passed some gas, and now everyone in the room is violently waving their hands in front of their noses in a desperate attempt to escape the noxious fumes. But does performing that metacarpal dance actually reduce your exposure...
The world is a cruel and unpredictable place, and while some dudes are lacking in the hair department, other people have more than they could ever need or want. Among the latter group are a subset of people who feel both ashamed of and burdened by the...
We often assume that plastic surgery is a big deal, and sure, some procedures — liposuction, male breast reduction, etc. — involve intrusive operations and lengthy recovery times that require living as one gigantic bandage for weeks on end. But there are several minimally invasive plastic surgeries...
A couple weeks ago, I visited my dentist for a routine cleaning, and he recommended I replace my original silver-colored amalgam fillings with more contemporary tooth-colored ones. I admit, I was almost persuaded (but eventually decided that spending a few hundred bucks so people would stop noticing...
Despite what Hollywood wants you to believe, the American expectation that teeth should be a lustrous white is — quite literally — inhuman. Our chompers are naturally more of a cream color, and only cosmetic treatments can make them a gleaming white. Regardless, our preference for oral...
I already ranked herbs, so now I’ve decided to take a look at their remarkably pungent kitchen cupboard brethren: Spices. I know, herbs and spices are often intermingled on the spice rack, so they might seem one in the same, but they are indeed different — herbs are...
