There you are, ready as ever to venture outdoors for your brief, but daily jaunt around the block — a few routine minutes of nature to remind yourself of the outside world, a pleasant place where humans were once allowed to travel freely, before the coronavirus struck...
Like a new cohort of workers affected by the coronavirus, I work remotely from my apartment. On a daily basis, my colleagues cooperate with my bulging head, projected like the Wizard of Oz on an enormous flat screen in our faraway headquarters. The same corkboard where I keep...
As you surely already know by now, bad, bad things are happening around the world, and therefore, just about everyone has been commanded to stay home until further notice. As expected, while many of us understand and respect the need to sequester ourselves right now, adjusting to...
Most of us spend a decent amount of time looking in the mirror, inspecting our faces and doing away with any stray, unsightly hairs. We shear our beards, snip our nose hairs and clip our ear hairs. But despite being smack-dab in the middle of our faces,...
Seeing as a fever is one of the principal coronavirus symptoms, repeatedly touching your forehead (which, stop) and prodding your tongue with a thermometer while pleading to some higher being for that sweet, sweet 98 degrees Fahrenheit is all the rage right now — as is sprinting away from anyone who mentions they...
I shaved my arms sporadically when I was in high school. I was on the water polo and swim teams, and I was required to shave my entire body, arms included, at the end of the seasons to increase my speed and overall slipperiness. Back then, my...
Eric “Mean” Melin, Air Guitar World Champion, has been strumming make-believe strings for as long as he can remember. His earliest memory is set at a small family home in Eden Prairie, Minnesota, where he and his cousins donned KISS masks that they made with crayons and paper, assembled...
The new coronavirus has accomplished what many commute-crazed, meeting-ravaged office workers have been long awaiting: Their companies are finally encouraging them to work from home. While, for many of us, working from the comfort of our homes is preferable to working in a dreary office building in an even more dreary cubicle, it can also...
I love a good bagel, but no other food-ordering experience rouses a sense of undecided hysteria quite like choosing which one I want cradling my dollop of cream cheese. The options are endless: I could go with something savory, like an onion bagel. Or maybe something sweet,...
When I was just a young boy, I slammed my thumb in a car door. That fingernail proceeded to fall off about a week later, revealing a brain-like section of skin that both intrigued my boyish self and absolutely terrified every normal adult who had the misfortune...
Many of us have had our routines, in a matter of weeks, completely upended. Only a short while ago, we continued to commute to our workplaces. We still went to our gyms. We attended our weekly gatherings with friends and family. But now, almost everyone is being...
When I was in middle school, I carpooled with a friend whose dad would vigorously mow his stubble with electric clippers while driving us through the busy, chaotic streets of Los Angeles. I understood back then — and I understand even more so now, as a highly...