Your current definition of “self-massage” probably just refers to some half-hearted foam-rolling. Which is fair enough! Trying to recreate the spa experience of having another person, trained in the art of massage, working on parts of your back that you can’t even reach is almost pathetic to try...
My boyfriend’s job requires him to look clean-cut. Naturally, now that he’s among those furloughed during quarantine, he’s letting his freak flag fly and attempting to grow a mustache. Thing is, he’s never really done so before, and it turns out, he’s not very good at it, either. Not...
You might be thinking, “Hey, I’m not living in one of those historic colonial towns where everyone pretends it’s 1790 for educational purposes, so why the heck do I still use a cutting board made of wood?” I mean, it is 2020. We have made material advancements. But...
You may not have noticed your own bad breath until now, when you’re trapping your nostrils behind those face masks we’re all supposed to wear. Has your breath always been this bad? Probably, at least some of the time. Has anyone noticed? Again, probably. But the thing is, now, you’re the...
Why are pizza boxes square if pizza is round? I don’t know, why does anything come in a square box? When have you ever ordered something that arrived in a container that was shaped perfectly to its contents? It just doesn’t happen. If I order sushi, it doesn’t...
Part of the reason our phones are so filthy is that we tend to bring them everywhere. Like, we’re probably scrolling in between wiping our butts. Unless we’re bringing our computers with us into the bathroom (seek help, if so), there’s a bit more of a barrier in place —...
Say what you will about this whole coronavirus thing, but my hands have never been cleaner. I’m washing my hands more often, for a longer period of time and with increased vigor. Not to mention, I top off the whole performance with a layer of hand sanitizer. Naturally, my hands...
I want to beat the heck out of whoever invented the phrase “starve a cold, feed a fever” — same goes for the inverse, “feed a cold, starve a fever.” Like hey, I know your head feels like a leaky water balloon, but you know what will...
I hate cardio, so I don’t run. That’s the truth. But if anyone asks, I fall back on one of the more commonly accepted arguments against running — particularly, that it’s hell for your knees. With gyms closed and nowhere else to go, though, lots of people have taken up running...
Becoming a cyborg could have been liberating. In 1985, scholar Donna Haraway posited that as the categories of human, animal and machine became blurred, the rigid boundaries of gender, labor and other symbolic oppressors could collapse. In some ways, the smartphone has made progress toward this end: In cyborg fashion,...
There is endless medical misinformation being dispensed in this pandemic moment. “Don’t take ibuprofen” or “hold your breath for 10 seconds to see if you have the coronavirus” or “drink some colloidal silver” are just a few among them (with potentially even worse suggestions coming from even more dubious...
Unloading your dishwasher, you’re faced with two threats: pipin’ hot ceramic dinner plates and Tupperware containers containing a splash-in-the-face quantity of dishwater. The dinner plate thing is fine and normal — hateful, but fine and normal — but what’s the freaking deal with all these wet plastics?...