Based on an unscientific 2018 study conducted by contributing writer Bridget Phetasy, women seem to think that sex should last “somewhere between 10 to 30 minutes of knockin’ boots.” “The giant caveat being that you can really only get away with a five-minute roll-in-the-hay if you take care of her first during foreplay,” she writes.
Which seems right, but then, what about the fabled “quickie”? If so-called normal sex should last somewhere between 10 minutes to a half hour, how long should the TL;DR equivalent of boinking last? To find out, we gathered a range of different responses, ranging from redditors to a sexologist to a porn historian. Here’s what they all had to say (in the case of responses we pulled off Reddit, sic, obviously, throughout)…
Sunny Rodgers, clinical sexologist and ambassador for the American Sexual Health Association: Essentially, a quickie is meant to be a speedy tryst that can relieve stress and satisfy desires. That said, is there a “perfect” period for a quickie to last? This topic was so interesting to me that I had to reach out to a handful of male clients immediately.
In my mind, the anticipation of a quickie can make the need for extended foreplay unnecessary. Therefore, I feel a quickie should be just till orgasm, which for many men is 2 to 3 minutes after sex play insertion.
But interestingly enough, most men I spoke with felt that a quickie should last longer than what I had imagined. Many felt a quickie consisted of sex play lasting between 5 to 10 minutes. And something that was mentioned again and again was where a quickie should take place. It appears as though quickies can also be defined by where they happen: Most men agreed that quickies shouldn’t take place in the bedroom. Bathrooms, cars and private spots in public places were mentioned frequently. So, perhaps it’s the thrill of a quickie that trumps the length.
PigeonsOnYourBalcony, redditor: Interesting question, but I’d argue that it’s less about the amount of time and more about the preparation — or lack thereof. In my mind, a quickie is when you forgo the foreplay and try to pound it out ASAP. The spirit of a quicky is that you do the barebones to get the job done. The time element is definitely a qualifier, but not the only factor. I think anything below 5 minutes can qualify as a quickie though.
Whitney Wright, adult film performer: In my mind, a fun, true “quickie” consists of one to two positions, and is done while one or both partners are getting ready to leave for work or something. To me, it’s so hot when I’m getting ready in the morning, brushing my teeth or washing my face, and my boyfriend comes up behind me, hugs me, and I tease him by rubbing my a** against him. Then we have this moment where we both share this look, almost to say, “Do we have enough time? Should we? Of course we should!” It can happen right where you are in whatever room, or it can be against a wall or even in bed if you haven’t gotten up yet! Morning quickies are the best, IMO.
Nickachu_, redditor: Takes about 25 minutes at 160 degrees in the oven.
Ivan Puba, adult film director and co-owner of Puba Network: In my mind, a quickie can be anything that lets that fire loose for a few seconds or minutes. You know that feeling where you’re in a tunnel vision and only one thing crosses your mind? When you need that quickie, it’s like walking in quicksand.
Zoompowko, redditor: Thirty seconds… 31 if I really try.
Dr. Chauntelle Tibbals, sociologist and author: The commonplace understanding of a “quickie” is a brief and generally impromptu bit of sex. What really dictates what constitutes a quickie though is more about specific partners’ understandings. “Quick” sex — whatever that means — can happen in any circumstances, as can elaborate and planned sex. The impromptu aspect of a “quickie” could just as well be out-of-the-ordinary — a midday tryst in an unusual location — or some other aspect that makes the sex feel thrilling in some way. Similarly, a brief sexual encounter can occur in one’s own bed on a Tuesday night.
Like most interpersonal social interactions, meaning has more to do with what we as humans have attached to specific scenarios. A sexual “quickie” then is more about what that type of encounter means to you than any set or specific parameters.