The Gourmet’s Guide to the Perfect Bath Snack

Our official Dollar Shave Club Bath Jerky makes a great stocking filler — just sayin’.

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Here at Dollar Shave Club, we believe in taking care of yourself, and sometimes that means gnawing on a wedge of beef jerky while soaking in a steamy bath. I suppose this is a good time to also mention that we sell Bath Jerky, which is fashioned specifically for enjoying while lounging in a large receptacle of warm water. What a coincidence!

If you find yourself hankering for a bathtime snack besides our beef jerky, though, firstly, how dare you, and secondly, yeah, there are some other alternatives. The classic shower (or bath) beer, for instance, which makes for an incredible warm-water delight thanks to a phenomenon called thermic alliesthesia, a pleasurable sensation that happens when — in this specific case — the cold beer brings your sweltering body down to the temperature range it prefers, encouraging your brain to send out a bunch of happy signals.

In recent years, we also bore witness to the popularization of the shower (or bath) orange, a healthy snack that has its flavor enhanced by the steam and humidity that comes along with warm water.

These are just a few popular versions of the many, many snacks that can — and arguably should — be consumed in a bath, though. Perhaps taking inspiration from the beloved shower orange, Home Chef research and development lead Dave Padilla suggests, “I think a tropical fruit salad would really give you those vacation vibes, so you can pretend that your bathtub overlooks an exotic waterfall somewhere in the South Pacific. Worst case scenario: If it falls in the tub, you have a luxurious skin treatment.”

For the more indulgent snacker, Padilla also recommends leftover Chinese food as a nosh that aligns well with the indulgent, self-care bathtime vibes. “Although I haven’t personally tried it, I think there’s a convincing argument to be made for eating leftover Chinese food in the bathtub bonus points if you’re eating it straight out of the takeout container,” he says. “Our steak strip and broccoli lo mein comes together in under 30 minutes, leaving you with plenty of time to work on those chopstick skills while you soak away the stress of the day.”

Chef Leah Brady holds a similar sentiment, suggesting Thai food as a solid warm-water snack. She says the strong flavors that come with Thai food contribute to the indulgence of taking a bath without overindulging on something exceedingly greasy, like lasagne, that might make you feel like an actual meatball. “Finish the bath up with some mango sticky rice,” she suggests. Ideally, the steam will meld with the mango, increasing the flavor the same way it does with oranges.

For anyone hoping for an option that requires fewer utensils and less chance of spillage, chef Holden Jagger offers up a unique idea: “I’d say anything that fits in a piping bag, like a nice foie mousse [or anything else with a thick, but malleable texture]. The piping bag leaves me with a free hand to smoke cigarettes while I bathe.”

If your kitchen is lacking in piping bags, Jaggers says that’s not a problem. “Take a kitchen baggie and cut a hole in one corner,” he explains. “Only a poor craftsman blames his tools.”

To think I once thought owning a dining table was important…