The Guys Who Get Completely Naked to Poop

’When you do something that brings you back to your primal roots, like pooping, you need to be in a primitive state. You need to be naked.’

Nude_Poo

“It started when I was a kid, maybe 7, 8 years old,” redditor Blu3Army73 tells us. “I was a little kid on a big toilet. I had to spread my legs to not fall in, and if I wore a long shirt, it could get in the way.”

Now 25, Blu3Army73 says the habit has held strong. He frequently removes all his clothes for a poop, particularly if he’s feeling sick. “It lets me have a wider stance and be in a more ‘open’ position to make going to the bathroom easier, and in my experience leaves less of a mess,” he says.

He also removes his pants “fireman style,” which means they’re “bunched up on the floor with the legs fully open so I can just step in and slide them up.” Wary of intruders and dirty floors, he’s developed a unique knowledge of public restrooms where he can or cannot enjoy a leisurely poop in the nude.

“I know where all the best public bathrooms are for a private and cleanly experience,” he says. “By far the best one I’ve ever used is in the Library of Congress. Very low doors, wide stalls, walls that touch the floor and extremely clean.”

Blu3Army73 isn’t the only nude pooper out there. I talked to several guys who strip down before sitting down without a second thought.

‘Why Not Make the Trip More Comfortable?’
Aaron, 26, Washington: There really isn’t any rhyme or reason to why I do it. If I know I’m sitting down for the long haul, why not make the trip more comfortable? My ritual usually takes place in the comfort of my own home, and generally precedes a shower in the morning, so I doff my garbs before sitting atop my throne.

When I’m getting down to business, it’s much more comfortable to remove one of my feet (usually the right foot) from my trousers entirely, and if I plan on wearing the same clothes again, I will neatly fold them so they aren’t wrinkled when I return to don them once more. However, I seldom remove my socks; I do not enjoy the sensation of sliding a dry foot into a moist garment. When I plan on changing after, I will cast off my clothes with nary a second thought.

There have been times where my mannerisms have been problematic. I have once or twice missed packages that required signing: By the time I clean up and reattire, the mail courier has already left with a note stuck to my door.

Alas, in times of emergencies where necessity comes before preferences, my person remains fully clothed and business is conducted as quickly as possible.

‘I Just Get Naked and Let Fly’
Christian, 60, Tampa: I get fully nude before I go No. 2, mostly because I like the feeling of the lack of clothing “binding” me, as it were; no pun intended. The whole process just seems that much easier without the clothes.

I have been doing this (in my home) for as long as I can remember. There is really no “system”: I just get naked and let fly. I usually just fold my clothes nicely up on top of my shoes (being unkempt in any way is unacceptable to me), then reverse the procedure and go on about my business.

Since I have no desire to be arrested for some kind of sex crime, I do not go naked in public, although I have had jobs where it was possible. I consider evacuation of one’s bowels to be pretty much a private matter, so I’ve never really thought of it as a “thing.” I am now curious as to how others do this.

‘I’ll Sh*t Anywhere Naked Now’
Donny, 21, Virginia: Ever since I was young, basically for as long as I can remember, I’ve always preferred taking my dumps naked…  it just feels freeing, like I’m more in touch with my body this way.

I start off my poop like any average person (pants down, shirt on), then I remove my shirt, then pants, and put them in the holdall I carry around. If I’m without my bag I’ll just throw them on the hook. If no hook is available, I’ll hold my clothing.

When it comes to pooping in public, well, let’s just say I learned my lesson back in 2008 after eating a chocolate-covered banana despite knowing I’m lactose intolerant. I’ll sh*t anywhere naked now.

‘Your Soul Is Telling You to Take It All off’
Andy, 26, Texas: Day in and day out, I go through the societal routines like working, socializing, running errands, being a part of a community… all with my clothes on. When you do something that brings you back to your primal roots, like pooping, you need to be in a primitive state. You need to be naked.

Some may think it’s a bit odd, because that’s how we’ve been trained by society. Whenever you see people “pooping,” whether it be your parents training you or a funny TV show or movie you saw, people will always simply have their pants down. However, when you listen to what your soul is telling you, it’s telling you to take it all off.

I’ve been doing it my whole life, and I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon, even though I have avoid public bathrooms for this reason. In fact, I plan on passing this trait down to the next generation and hope that trend continues.

Just do what your heart tells you. Sometimes you wanna hang the pants up, sometimes you just kick them aside. Sometimes when you know it’s gonna be a quickie, you might want to leave them on! Or you could sit down with the pants down at your ankles but then decide that it’s gonna be one of those sessions so you take them off.

The choice is yours.