Have you been to the store recently? Hope you like couscous instead of rice, cartons of egg whites instead of the real thing and, frankly, a poop knife instead of toilet paper, because in the time of corona, the “essentials” are becoming harder and harder to come...
When it comes to staying on your feet while drinking, size is pretty much the only thing that matters. “The less you weigh, the more the water in your body will be affected by a given amount of alcohol,” explains Nachman Brautbar, a forensic toxicologist in L.A....
There is endless medical misinformation being dispensed in this pandemic moment. “Don’t take ibuprofen” or “hold your breath for 10 seconds to see if you have the coronavirus” or “drink some colloidal silver” are just a few among them (with potentially even worse suggestions coming from even more dubious...
Welp, you put it off as long as possible — and went through quite a few matchbooks in the process — but the very apparent stench creeping out of the bathroom yet again this morning means it’s highly unlikely you can hide one unassailable truth from your...
Seeing as a fever is one of the principal coronavirus symptoms, repeatedly touching your forehead (which, stop) and prodding your tongue with a thermometer while pleading to some higher being for that sweet, sweet 98 degrees Fahrenheit is all the rage right now — as is sprinting away from anyone who mentions they...
Occasionally, doing research for articles leads me to question some of my core beliefs. For example, I thought it was normal to use the same towel for days on end, and just the other day I learned my showering habits were all wrong. What else am I doing wrong?...
There are a lot of elements of life where we all know what we’re meant to do, and that we aren’t going to do it. There are bad habits we know we need to cut down on and good habits we assure ourselves we’ll get around to...
Mistook your monthly magazine for a pack of One Wipe Charlies and flushed it down the toilet? No worries, here’s the online version! In this edition: The Nudist’s Guide to Being Comfortable in Your Own Skin Why is Sensitive Skin So Damn Sensitive? Should I Be Moisturizing...
If you’ve dared to venture out of quarantine long enough to go to the supermarket or — eek! — made your way through a half-empty airport in these dark and trying times, no doubt you’ve seen someone wearing a mask. No, not those types of masks —...
One of my favorite peeing-in-a-closet stories — and I’ve heard a lot, for journalistic research and because I went to college — doesn’t involve any pee at all. In the spring of 2004, a woman named Erica (she requested I withhold her last name) took her friend...
Despite people clamoring to buy the last 18-packs of double-ply toilet paper at the grocery store, the coronavirus really isn’t the butt apocalypse it might seem, since nothing gastrointestinal is among the primary symptoms. For some, the greater concern may be that quarantining prevents us from leaving the house much...
Deodorant is good stuff — it masks your natural stench with an exotic scent usually called something ultra-manly like STEEL JET or CONCRETE GUNBARREL. Indeed, if traditional deodorant ads are anything to go by, it makes you so irresistible that angels will willfully give up their haloes just...
