It’s been an absolute delight to exclusively use my own bathroom for the last three months. People seem so eager to go to bars and restaurants, but aren’t they forgetting that consuming beverages in public usually results in needing to use a public restroom? Regardless of how...
I first came across this phrase when passing through Amsterdam one night when I was a more daring, adventurous young person. I vividly remember being stopped by a sickly-looking guy with small eyes on one of the many bridges. “You want [drugs], man?” he proffered. “Make you...
These past two-plus months of quarantine have been an exercise in “making the best of a difficult situation,” and how we work out is now different. The giant, potential coronavirus breeding grounds formerly known as “gyms” are currently closed. Home gyms, on the other hand, are all...
We can thank shoes for many things: They keep our feet clean, comfortable and protected (and most importantly, they prevent stubbed toes). There is, however, something to be said about the glorious, godlike sensation of stepping outside barefooted every now and again. The sunbathed concrete warms your...
Mistook your monthly magazine for a pack of One Wipe Charlies and flushed it down the toilet? No worries, here’s the online version! In this edition: How to Take Care of Your Balls The (Ball) Pit of Doom? How Low are My Balls Gonna Go, Anyway? A...
If there’s one thing the long history of nutrition fads teaches us it’s that, whether they’re prescribed for weight loss or healthy living, blueprint diets have their drawbacks. With the vinegar diet, for example, popularized in the 1820s by the English poet and legendary narcissist Lord Byron...
Sure, there’s a biological reason why most people prefer to breathe out their nose, but there’s a social one, too. That is, a lot of people don’t want to be a mouth-breather, a trait culturally associated with stupidity. But now that everyone is wearing a mask in public, you...
I remember my first chip-filled sandwich like it was yesterday. My friend and I — both early adolescents — had just endured a routine, but strenuous water polo practice at our community pool. As we stepped out of the modest aquatic center, our hair still damp and...
The National Hot Dog and Sausage Council (it’s a real thing!) estimates that the majority of hot dogs consumed by Americans each year are devoured between Memorial Day and Labor Day, with 7 billion hot dogs slithering their way through Americans’ digestive tracts. Some of these, inevitably, will be...
There are so many myths about beer, like that it’ll give you a beer belly or that it makes you have to pee more. Neither are inherently true! I’ve already debunked the beer belly thing, so now it’s time to address the latter. Beer makes you have to pee...
If it seems like mosquitoes are more attracted to you than others around you, it’s probably true. Some people are just juicer targets, and while there are plenty of theories as to why that is, most haven’t actually been tried and tested by scientists. Sadly, one of the few actual...
Sweaty as they may be, wearing a mask isn’t a problem. Disposable gloves are fine, too, if I’ve got them. I might even wear my sunglasses inside the grocery store, for added eye protection. But is all of that pointless if I run errands in my usual summer uniform of...
