Ah, to be a kid again: No worrying about things like taxes, or wrinkles, or whether you’ll have enough money to make rent (Owning a house? Please.) AND buy yourself dinner. Oh, and the other great thing about childhood? A mouth that doesn’t stink like a sewer....
I’ve never been to a crime scene, but on the morning after I finally got over the flu that kept me in the fetal position for nearly four days, my apartment looked like the sort of environment that requires a hazmat suit. There were crinkled up napkins...
Organ donations are important, I know, but, uh, can someone donate a testicle? And if so, where would they donate it to, and what the hell for? “No,” says urologist and sexual health doctor Joshua Gonzalez, emphatically. “They don’t even do testicular transplants — that’s not a thing....
You are what you eat, as they say, which means, if you smell like a gallon of milk that spent two weeks sunbathing on the dashboard of a car parked in Death Valley, hey, you might be able to blame that random gallon of milk you found...
One of the hardest things I’ve had to do (and continue to do) in my 35 years on this mortal plane has been kicking nicotine. From the day my college girlfriend broke up with me when I was 20 until only a couple of years ago, I...
It Could Happen To You: You’re at some nice hotel you wouldn’t ordinarily drop the cash for, and in order to fully milk the experience, you know you’ve gotta be fully nude, in bed, with a tray of chicken tenders. You don’t want to stank up the...
For thousands of years, the heart — and these days more often, the heart emoji — has been THE stand-in for love, and the symbol through which millions of lovers express their feelings to their significant others on Valentine’s Day (and most other days, for that matter)....
I regularly struggle to make simple decisions regarding what I’d like to eat for dinner — yes, I’m that girlfriend trope. Nevertheless, I know that when it comes to making more significant decisions — whether to accept a job offer, break up with someone, move across the country — an empty...
I am neither a poet nor a scientist, and so to describe what sex smells like seems near impossible. Sex smells like… body juice? Erotic-flavored sweat? Chicken broth? According to expert sex doctors and fellow sex-havers, all of the above. But there are a handful of components...
I work from home, interact with people almost entirely through my computer camera and, most days, only leave my apartment to walk my dog. Put another way, so long as I seem even the slightest bit presentable on video calls, I can reasonably get away without showering...
There’s a big difference between having breath that smells like alcohol and having alcohol breath: The former simply acknowledges that one’s breath smells as though they’ve consumed alcohol, while the latter is that wretched scent of yeast, sugar, nastiness and the sort of moldering despair you can smell...
There are plenty of mysteries left in this world: What the heck happened to D.B Cooper, and, of course, how every single fitness tracker and cardio machine can spit out a different “calories burned” number when all you’re trying to do is figure out how effective your workout was....
