Being an adult is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. I had a whole bunch of awesome hobbies when I was a teenager — playing sports, making music, jumping on trampolines and whatnot — but I had to abandon them all, just so I could make enough...
On a recent trip to the doctor’s office, I was brutally reminded of where I stand in my girlfriend’s life. The moment — which hit me like a middle-of-the-night spider bite that you don’t feel until the morning — occurred when the doctor’s secretary asked her who...
That little image of myself in the corner of my video calls is enough to make me never want to reach out to my loved ones again. No offense to Shrek, but I look like an ogre, and not even a hot one like Fiona. My face...
Sit back, relax, kick your feet up. All of those things sound good in theory, but you know in the back of your head that you just might regret it later when you’re all cramped up and your back is a mess. The whole point of lounging...
Call me conventional, but I prefer to have three regular meals a day. I mean, I guess I can see why someone might feel inclined to consume all of their daily calories at once — finding the time and motivation to eat three times a day can be a challenge sometimes....
Mistook your monthly magazine for a pack of One Wipe Charlies and flushed it down the toilet? No worries, here’s the online version! In this edition: The Competitive Eater’s Guide to Thanksgiving How Much Food Makes a Good Base for Booze? How to Make It to the...
My vision has gotten rapidly worse over the last few years, and my optometrists have told me that basically, it’s because I’m on my phone all the time (not to mention I spend an average of eight hours a day in front of my computer for work)....
Over the last few years, several top models have made it a point to represent and empower people living with vitiligo, a condition that causes the loss of skin color in blotches. “While growing up, I was teased, ridiculed and bullied and called names like cow, zebra...
Hey, you big drunk dummy. Are you reading this after your eighth post-midnight tequila shot, wondering by what grace of God you’ll be able to sober up enough to make it to your 4 a.m. flight in one piece? Well, I’ve got some bad news, my sweet blackout buddy: You’re...
A lot of people can apparently take this in stride; my own girlfriend claims to “love” the heat, which is unfortunate given that I want to commiserate with someone over how miserable being hot is. All my life, I’ve felt like I “run hot.” Growing up in...
When it comes to working out, we’re not all strongmen like Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson (aka The Mountain). In fact, many of us could go our entire lives and still have no clue how a lat pull-down differs from an incline bench. Which is to say, there’s no shame in...
Returning to the gym locker room can be even more intimidating than returning to the actual gym after spending nine months making excuses (my arm muscle was busted, I swear). For good reason, too: There are a bunch of new faces, with the same idea as you,...
