Here’s a hypothetical that’s probably more real than not for most people: You’ve spent 20 years or more hating your body, seemingly unable to drop those last few pounds that stand between you and happiness, despite seemingly constantly denying yourself the food you really want, and working...
I’ve finally stopped fighting it and accepted the fact that I’m a doddering idiot, forsaken to a life without expensive sunglasses because I will inevitably sit on them or lose them. To wit, I’ve owned countless pairs of semi-expensive sunglasses — all of which are either currently sitting...
When it comes to working out, we’re not all strongmen like Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson (aka The Mountain). In fact, many of us could go our entire lives and still not know our lat pull-downs from our incline benches from our deadlifts. Which is to say, there’s no shame in...
Sometimes, you look at a guy in the gym and think: Huh, he’s got a bit of a gut — bet he doesn’t work out very hard. Then, said guy proceeds to lift a 1978 Volkswagen bus over his head with one arm while still doing lateral...
Sure, I understand you want to make every moment count on vacation, especially since you spent the last nine months carving “I need a break” into the side of your cubicle. So you booked every possible excursion, including a guided meditation in the janitor’s closet and an interactive...
“If man was meant to fly, he’d have been given wings,” says the old mantra we ignore every time we step through the metal detector and head for the bar in the departure lounge. But there’s some truth to it: Nothing about humans flying is natural, and...
Nothing is more perilous to being “poolside presentable” than cold water’s ability to shrivel up your penis like a startled snail retreating into its shell. Shrinkage has prevented countless men from not just partaking in cold-water skinny dips, but merely getting sack-deep in cold water alone. This summer,...
Being a good dad begins the moment you choose to have a child, and that means the first thing you need to do is become an expert on pregnancy. Naturally, many men are clueless about what brewing a literal human inside a body involves, since most of them...
When one thinks of “good sex,” the image that probably comes to mind — if not something from your own history, or a slow, sensual movie scene — is something loud, wild and sweaty. But is working hard enough to perspire a prerequisite to good sex? Does a...
As humans, we spend an inordinate amount of time sweating the small stuff. And I don’t mean that metaphorically: We literally worry that our car is too cramped, that our personages are too petite, that our todgers are too titchy. So how to stop this needless fretting?...
You spent the night double-fisting margaritas, and the resulting hangover is as expected: Completely and utterly merciless. Your brain is yearning for painkillers, your throat is thirsting for water and your stomach is hungering for a triple meat breakfast sandwich deluxe from the nearest fast food establishment. Of course,...
Despite being a renowned, albeit not so great survival tactic, most people would agree that drinking your own pee is undesirable, even in catastrophic situations. Which is why, in preparation for the off-chance that I somehow end up stranded on a desert island (or just next to...
