Kenton, a 38-year-old in Ontario, is a serial hands-down-the-pants guy. Whenever he’s relaxing on the couch or about to fall asleep, his hands are down his pants. He says he doesn’t remember when he started it, “but as far back as I can remember, I can clearly...
Everyone loves a good butt, and while, in my humble opinion, every butt deserves some respect and appreciation, humanity has, of course, formulated a simple trial to separate the best butts from the butt-pack: the Quarter Test. The test is simple: Bounce a quarter off of a...
It Could Happen To You: You’re at some nice hotel you wouldn’t ordinarily drop the cash for, and in order to fully milk the experience, you know you’ve gotta be fully nude, in bed, with a tray of chicken tenders. You don’t want to stank up the...
Parking tickets, at times, can feel inescapable. You study the signs for hours, confident about leaving your car while grabbing a quick coffee and still end up acquiring a pricey slip of paper that demands you eat unboiled noodles for the remainder of the month to avoid going broke. There has long been...
Have some punks ever thrown a snowball at you? Did you try to throw one back, only to realize that your throwing arm freaking sucks? Were you then barraged by even more snowballs until you finally made it home, where your family laughed at you for being...
The idea that Santa, a man with a bulbous belly full of milk and cookies, can slide down a chimney might seem preposterous to the average human. But to a contortionist, even the tightest of squeezes is a mere challenge. To show you just how incredible Santa...
Here at Dollar Shave Club, we believe in taking care of yourself, and sometimes that means gnawing on a wedge of beef jerky while soaking in a steamy bath. I suppose this is a good time to also mention that we sell Bath Jerky, which is fashioned...
Inside a vehicle is both one of the best and worst places to release a plume of your own nauseating personal fumes. On one hand, being alone means you can liberally break wind without worrying about being shamed. On the other, being trapped in such a small space means...
A comedy staple like slipping on a banana peel or getting a pie in the face, the old plumber’s crack image is something that seems to have been around forever. Yet, over the past week I’ve been scouring the internet for plumber’s butt cracks — digging deep,...
Parenting a pet, no matter what kind, can be a frustrating and bewildering experience. Animals can’t tell you what they want and need (directly, at least), so we’re here to help you answer any questions you have about your favorite companion — whether they be furry, slimy,...
“In recent years, seats have been adopted to provide various functions in addition to their basic seating function. Toilet seats, for example, have been designed to provide features which increase the comfort of the user. One particular type of toilet seat commonly referred to as a cushioned...
Nothing is more perilous to being “poolside presentable” than cold water’s ability to shrivel up your penis like a startled snail retreating into its shell. Shrinkage has prevented countless men from not just partaking in cold-water skinny dips, but merely getting sack-deep in cold water alone. This summer,...