Has your quarantine cuisine gotten a bit repetitive? Or is your pandemic pantry looking a little bare? Why not grab a can of cola, pop it open, take a moment to consider your options… then pour that cola directly into your next meal? The idea of cooking...
Much like how a certain lemon-lime soda from a certain fast food joint (you know the one) is on another level, a carbonated God among the very same lemon-lime soda served at other establishments, air conditioners in hotel rooms are transcendental, capable of discharging an interminable barrage...
On a recent Sunday, the 17th of May, 2020, one of the greatest fights in internet history turned 12 years old. It started with an innocent question on bodybuilding.com about how many days a week you can safely work out. It concluded in an absolute bloodbath between two...
Kenton, a 38-year-old in Ontario, is a serial hands-down-the-pants guy. Whenever he’s relaxing on the couch or about to fall asleep, his hands are down his pants. He says he doesn’t remember when he started it, “but as far back as I can remember, I can clearly...
Everyone loves a good butt, and while, in my humble opinion, every butt deserves some respect and appreciation, humanity has, of course, formulated a simple trial to separate the best butts from the butt-pack: the Quarter Test. The test is simple: Bounce a quarter off of a...
It Could Happen To You: You’re at some nice hotel you wouldn’t ordinarily drop the cash for, and in order to fully milk the experience, you know you’ve gotta be fully nude, in bed, with a tray of chicken tenders. You don’t want to stank up the...
Parking tickets, at times, can feel inescapable. You study the signs for hours, confident about leaving your car while grabbing a quick coffee and still end up acquiring a pricey slip of paper that demands you eat unboiled noodles for the remainder of the month to avoid going broke. There has long been...
Have some punks ever thrown a snowball at you? Did you try to throw one back, only to realize that your throwing arm freaking sucks? Were you then barraged by even more snowballs until you finally made it home, where your family laughed at you for being...
The idea that Santa, a man with a bulbous belly full of milk and cookies, can slide down a chimney might seem preposterous to the average human. But to a contortionist, even the tightest of squeezes is a mere challenge. To show you just how incredible Santa...
Here at Dollar Shave Club, we believe in taking care of yourself, and sometimes that means gnawing on a wedge of beef jerky while soaking in a steamy bath. I suppose this is a good time to also mention that we sell Bath Jerky, which is fashioned...
Inside a vehicle is both one of the best and worst places to release a plume of your own nauseating personal fumes. On one hand, being alone means you can liberally break wind without worrying about being shamed. On the other, being trapped in such a small space means...
A comedy staple like slipping on a banana peel or getting a pie in the face, the old plumber’s crack image is something that seems to have been around forever. Yet, over the past week I’ve been scouring the internet for plumber’s butt cracks — digging deep,...