There’s almost always a glob of my hair clung to the walls of my shower. I put it there intentionally so I can throw it in the trash and not clog the drain. It’s an abject sight, and my boyfriend hates it, but art is controversial, you know?...
Ah, summertime — the time of year for barbecues, lemonade and changing my T-shirt four freaking times a day because I keep sweating through them like a disgusting beast. I can’t help it, I’m a sweaty dude, but recently I got to thinking: Body hair keeps people warm,...
There’s no shortage of lessons we humans can learn from animals: Cats remind us to get plenty of sleep; dogs teach us to love unconditionally; and chimpanzees show us how to accurately throw handfuls of fresh poop at unsuspecting strangers. These lessons also extend into the realm...
Over the past decade or so, I’ve gradually come to accept that my hairline is receding. I mean, I don’t know if acceptance is the right way to phrase it, but I’ve neither plummeted into a deep depression nor treated it, so I guess I’ve accepted it on some...
There’s something heartbreaking about hating a new haircut. I’m not sure whether it’s the fact that you spent tens of dollars on something you really, really don’t like, or the fact you sat through at least 30 minutes of awkward conversation while being forced to look at...
Excessively bushy eyebrows can be troublesome, sure, but at least they provide something to work with; a carving stone to sculpt as you so choose. For those with thin eyebrows — or God forbid, no eyebrows at all — their options are much less straightforward, and not...
There are some pretty compelling reasons to make sure your butt looks nice, and for some guys, that includes keeping the fur in check. But how the heck are you supposed to go about removing hair from an area you can barely even see? Melanie Mari, owner...
Holy [beeeeep]! I just saw a large hunk of balled-up shag carpet saunter across my living room! Oh phew, that was just my dog, Tucker, who, like me, has gone without professional grooming since the start of quarantine and now looks like a stray tumbleweed. Clearly, I...
There you are, standing in front of the bathroom mirror with your razor in your hand, ready to do the same annoying thing you’ve done (almost) every day since the last day of puberty: Shave your face. Considering that the average man shaves 20,000 times in his...
Like many of us, you may be using quarantine as an opportunity to experiment with your facial hair. And like many of us, you may be, well, disappointed with the less-than-magnificent result. It can be easy to disparage your own looks, though, and you might just need...
My boyfriend’s job requires him to look clean-cut. Naturally, now that he’s among those furloughed during quarantine, he’s letting his freak flag fly and attempting to grow a mustache. Thing is, he’s never really done so before, and it turns out, he’s not very good at it, either. Not...
First things first, while it might be tempting to just start cutting your own hair in quarantine — you’ve watched your barber do it for years, after all — that’s generally a terrible, awful, ill-advised idea (case in point). In fact, when I asked barber Asia J...