Unlike teeth, the stoic gatekeepers of our mouths, a succulent pair of lips has an inviting presence, enticing others to press their own kissers against them. Unfortunately, their subtle and delicate makeup also leaves them prone to being cracked, discolored and mangled. On the upside, whatever shape...
Our bodies are adept at stench creation, a harsh reality that most of us can fortunately keep under control with showers and deodorant. Nevertheless, there are a number of unlucky people who — despite showering often and investing in powerful deodorants — are steadily trailed by a...
Everyone suffers from dryness now and again. But the occasional cracked elbow is but a scratch compared to the perpetual parchedness — and inescapable, unbearable itchiness — endured by those with chronic skin conditions, like eczema. 29 year old Samantha (an alias to protect her privacy) has...
Anyone with even the slightest sense of decency would surely never intend to nosh while situated on the toilet (well, 91 percent of you, anyway). But there are times in life when bathroom dining could conceivably happen — say, you need to rush out the door or...
Once we finish bringing the groceries inside — in one single, strenuous trip, of course — most of us have something of a system in place when it comes to stocking the fridge. Fruits and veggies go inside the bottom crisper drawers, cheeses and deli meats go...
Farts are like snowflakes (I am not on drugs, I promise) — no two are the same. Some are thunderous, some are silent, some smell like nothing and some smell like grandparent foot. How each individual fart smells might seem random (especially during those nerve-racking moments after...
There are times in life when everything else — meeting a deadline, running urgent errands, drinking 17 beers — takes precedence over eating the bologna sandwich you packed for lunch. But what happens to your insides when you deprive them of a meal? For starters, when you...
A couple weeks ago, I visited my dentist for a routine cleaning, and he recommended I replace my original silver-colored amalgam fillings with more contemporary tooth-colored ones. I admit, I was almost persuaded (but eventually decided that spending a few hundred bucks so people would stop noticing...
Some warning labels address activities that could pose a true danger to our health, like the grim images on cigarette packs. Others are more questionable, like the Parental Advisory Label program that used to indicate which CDs had explicit language (back in the days when we bought...
Despite what Hollywood wants you to believe, the American expectation that teeth should be a lustrous white is — quite literally — inhuman. Our chompers are naturally more of a cream color, and only cosmetic treatments can make them a gleaming white. Regardless, our preference for oral...
I had quite a talent for collecting scars when I was a kid — I cracked my forehead open twice, once on my metal bed frame and again on a slippery pool deck. I sliced my hand open once, too: I was rolling down the sidewalk on...
I often observe, bemused, as my girlfriend fiddles with her eyelashes before presenting herself to the general public. She chomps on them with a strange metal clamp thingy, darkens them with some black sludge and combs them with a miniature round brush that looks like it was...
