Mistook your monthly magazine for a pack of One Wipe Charlies and flushed it down the toilet? No worries, here’s the online version! In this edition: How to Take Care of Your Balls The (Ball) Pit of Doom? How Low are My Balls Gonna Go, Anyway? A...
If there’s one thing the long history of nutrition fads teaches us it’s that, whether they’re prescribed for weight loss or healthy living, blueprint diets have their drawbacks. With the vinegar diet, for example, popularized in the 1820s by the English poet and legendary narcissist Lord Byron...
Sure, there’s a biological reason why most people prefer to breathe out their nose, but there’s a social one, too. That is, a lot of people don’t want to be a mouth-breather, a trait culturally associated with stupidity. But now that everyone is wearing a mask in public, you...
It may be the year 2020, but living in a home with a dishwasher is still a luxury to many. Hand washing dishes after each and every meal is a necessary evil across much of the world, and with much of that same world in some level...
I remember my first chip-filled sandwich like it was yesterday. My friend and I — both early adolescents — had just endured a routine, but strenuous water polo practice at our community pool. As we stepped out of the modest aquatic center, our hair still damp and...
Humans have been imagining words and phrases to categorize others by how they look since the advent of language itself. For men — and particularly fathers — two contemporary examples of this are ‘dad bod’ and the more recent interpretation of ‘father figure,’ both of which are...
Ever since I’ve started protesting, I’ve been coming in hot with my every interaction. Whether I’m going off about something someone said on the internet or fighting with my family about why people loot, I’ve been a bit much. Even with friends I agree with, since I started protesting,...
All those industrial-strength bleach-powered germ-fighting abandon-all-hope-ye-who-enter-here cleaners have been sold out for months now, and it will probably be awhile before you can reliably find your usual cleaning products every time you seek them. And that sad bottle of all-purpose cleaner looks about as effective as tossing a...
The National Hot Dog and Sausage Council (it’s a real thing!) estimates that the majority of hot dogs consumed by Americans each year are devoured between Memorial Day and Labor Day, with 7 billion hot dogs slithering their way through Americans’ digestive tracts. Some of these, inevitably, will be...
There are so many myths about beer, like that it’ll give you a beer belly or that it makes you have to pee more. Neither are inherently true! I’ve already debunked the beer belly thing, so now it’s time to address the latter. Beer makes you have to pee...
Going to the grocery is already a nerve-racking experience thanks to food (and other stuff) hoarding, and whatever food is left seems to be getting more expensive all the time. Clearly, the best solution is for everyone to start their own farms to create their own sustainable source...
Has your quarantine cuisine gotten a bit repetitive? Or is your pandemic pantry looking a little bare? Why not grab a can of cola, pop it open, take a moment to consider your options… then pour that cola directly into your next meal? The idea of cooking...
