About a year ago, I noticed a sizable, single-haired mole protruding from my lower back. Me being a hypochondriac, especially when it comes to skin-related ailments, I immediately made an appointment with my primary care physician — after having a routine panic attack, of course — who...
Mistook your monthly magazine for a pack of One Wipe Charlies and flushed it down the toilet? No worries, here’s the online version! In this edition: What I’ve Learned From Staring at the Sun (Don’t Try This at Home) Now You See the Sun — Now You...
It comes at night: That unique, slightly sweaty yet also somewhat dry sensation, and the discomfit that accompanies the feeling that your testicles have no true place on your body. Your brain, done with trying to make sense of where to put your junk after an hour...
You might be thinking, “Hey, I’m not living in one of those historic colonial towns where everyone pretends it’s 1790 for educational purposes, so why the heck do I still use a cutting board made of wood?” I mean, it is 2020. We have made material advancements. But...
You just got off: Congratulations! I hope it was a good one. But now that you’ve used your ejaculatory burst, you’ve entered the subsequent post-ejaculation holding pattern more commonly known as the refractory period. For some guys, this is a place in time when you may start crying....
One of the few bright spots of being in isolation this long has gotta be watching regular people suddenly discover that the thing they’ve been using one way can, in quarantine, be used in a completely different way than originally intended. Video chat is a perfect example...
When the quarantines were announced back in March and early April, the conventional wisdom suggested that limiting our interaction with the outside world would at the very least provide a first line of defense against the coronavirus for ourselves, our families and — in a macro sense...
As summer inches closer and temperatures climb, you might be inclined to make good use of your quarantined time by sunbathing in your backyard, on your balcony or even on your doorstep, if you absolutely must. It would be wise of you to put on sunscreen first,...
Part of the reason our phones are so filthy is that we tend to bring them everywhere. Like, we’re probably scrolling in between wiping our butts. Unless we’re bringing our computers with us into the bathroom (seek help, if so), there’s a bit more of a barrier in place —...
The color red has long been associated with a range of intense emotions, foremost among them being anger — hence the phrase, “seeing red.” According to Phrase.org, it’s widely believed that “seeing red” originates from the sport of bull-fighting and the matador’s use of a red cape to...
On a train, or in a plane. In a house, or with a mouse — it doesn’t matter where, or who you are, headaches affect virtually everyone at some point in their life. We get them while we’re working, from straining to see the computer screen; we...
If you could only eat one thing a day and it had to be the same thing every day, you really only have two options: 1) You could eat a potato; or 2) you could eat rice and beans. For variety’s sake, don’t pick the potato. Admittedly,...
