Farts are like snowflakes (I am not on drugs, I promise) — no two are the same. Some are thunderous, some are silent, some smell like nothing and some smell like grandparent foot. How each individual fart smells might seem random (especially during those nerve-racking moments after...
I know, onions are rarely the highlight of a dish (onion rings, excluded). But they still find their way into or onto most everything in one way or another. Onions come in many shapes and sizes, though, and assuming you want to incorporate the healthiest of the...
We need not debate a couple of universal pizza truths: That pizza is both vital and inevitable, and that pizza is among the most nutritionally maligned foods on earth. Understandably then, man has made valiant efforts to hack pizza, to whittle it down to some pizza-like formation that...
I rode a camel once, but I didn’t think to suck on its nipples, too, so — like much of America — the taste of camel milk has so far eluded me. My curiosity is growing, though, as I’m seeing more and more stories about just how...
While I highly doubt the Founding Fathers could even have come close to fathoming the blasphemous creations modern restaurants have concocted, America was founded on the (bogus) belief that meat promotes good health and indicates economic success. So what better way to commemorate this indulgent sentiment than with a gargantuan...
There are times in life when everything else — meeting a deadline, running urgent errands, drinking 17 beers — takes precedence over eating the bologna sandwich you packed for lunch. But what happens to your insides when you deprive them of a meal? For starters, when you...
A recent Austrian study confirms the indelible belief that an apple a day keeps the doctor away — especially when you cram the whole freaking thing, core included, down your throat. The researchers estimate the average apple contains a whopping 100 million beneficial bacteria, which may help with digestive disorders,...
Most mostly-happy couples can agree that 99 percent of all arguments, frustrations and relationship hardships revolve around where and what you’re going to eat. According to a report in the New York Post, the average American couple spends 132 hours a year deciding what to eat, and “a...
If children had their way, you’d be building blanket forts, scaling trees and playing something called Four Square with them for approximately 14 hours a day. As a grown adult with a desk job, however, it’s so logistically unrealistic that if we gave in, we’d all lose our...
Mistook your monthly magazine for a pack of One Wipe Charlies and flushed it down the toilet? No worries, here’s the online version! In this edition: What Snakes Have Taught Me About Squeezing the Most Out of Life How to Squeeze the Last Out of Summer How...
A couple weeks ago, I visited my dentist for a routine cleaning, and he recommended I replace my original silver-colored amalgam fillings with more contemporary tooth-colored ones. I admit, I was almost persuaded (but eventually decided that spending a few hundred bucks so people would stop noticing...
Some warning labels address activities that could pose a true danger to our health, like the grim images on cigarette packs. Others are more questionable, like the Parental Advisory Label program that used to indicate which CDs had explicit language (back in the days when we bought...
